How not to repeat the financial mistakes of their parents
Your parents are the first and most influential teachers and many the lessons they teach, unconsciously absorbed, perceived and studied. In adult life it becomes quite difficult to retrain yourself, especially if you grew up in a poor family and the example that stood before your eyes was pretty sad. But you don’t they is quite able to repeat family stories and embark on the path of financial well being after several limited in means childhood.
1. Change your thinking
«Poverty not a Vice», «the Above head can not jump», «All not make any money»… How often have you heard similar statements from parents or told them himself? It’s characteristic ways of thinking of people who grew up in the financial world, very far from prosperous, and this setup was inherited from generation to generation, if the situation has not changed. Such stupid sayings that you would feel awkward and try on, in any case, bring harm to the «financial» health.
Being poor is a state of mind. And you must change your poor thinking in the short term. First of all, start with observation.
Remember how in the childhood, the first time going to visit a friend, you saw how his lifestyle differs from yours. Of course, it was not gold toilets and the silver forks, but, of course, was what was lacking in your family or you personally, starting things, ending family traditions and habits. Perhaps in that moment you feel confused, but does the boy have nothing else to occupy his mind, except for this strange discrepancy?
Unfortunately, over the years of observation of how peers or colleagues are gaining new heights, the confusion evaporates more easily. It turns into justification, anger or envy, excuses or meaningless humility.
Let me challenge their own habits and thinking. Accept the idea that the financial lives of some people much better than yours because they work like slaves on the plantation, or perform a certain sequence of actions that will lead them on the path to success. So why not start to imitate what they are doing and how come such people? It is inconvenient and possibly frustrating, since rebuilding the brain in a similar way, you can finally reach that evil fate and the fatal combination of circumstances to blame for your failures and only yourself. Questioning your stereotype about money, you will have the ability to restart the encoded program using positive role models, which is full around.
2. Find a mentor
The change in perspective is the starting point of this long road. However, the learning curve may be extremely steep, when it comes to finances. Where to start? What are the objectives correct and will lead to success? How to separate wants from needs? Help to find the correct answer will help a wise mentor. Dude, you don’t need Gandalf or financial consultant from Apple (although it would be very nice). Need to communicate with professionals. Start learning-themed book, good, there are a lot of good literature on business and Finance, which are written, interesting and accessible language. To communicate with people. Money is often a taboo subject in polite conversation, but professionals generally love to talk about their area of expertise. Make new acquaintances with those who are able to meet your interest and will help you understand this «kitchen» from inside.
3. Curb pride
Parents love their children and are proud of their every achievement, sometimes going too far in its enthusiasm for the child. Perhaps, after you got a master’s degree in any hetrulycomes specialty and successfully passed the interview… the cashier at the supermarket, your mom’s head there was a a couple of new gray hair. She always told you that you deserve a certain standard of living, significantly above average, a certain job, a certain role, a certain status… But due to the fact that parents see you as the Director of a large firm (and of course you agree with them), this setting is not true and has nothing to do with the realities of life. Ambition is a good thing. Ambitions, not backed by any action, is a failure.
To take the desired role in the play, you have to fill a lot of bumps and bruises, nobody don’t owe you anything just because you’re so smart, beautiful and talented. No such work which can be beneath your dignity. If you keep life under control, you need to understand that when times got tough, really hard, you have to take any business to stay afloat and in time to pay the bills. The refusal to accept anything less than specific job that you were trained at University – a reliable recipe for financial collapse.
4. Learn to say «NO»
Among the millions of lessons that have given us our parents, one of them firmly entrenched in the subcortex of our brain: all family members owe each other the default. And this is another improper installation. We’re not talking about that you don’t have to help their parents. Think it’s a basic sign of respect and FILIAL duty – to brighten up the lives of their old not only rare phone calls and visits, but a trip to some resort.
The situation is different if, for example, your brother, who is a great lover of experiments, I decided to sign up for some adventure and to bring you a guarantor or a trusted/responsible person, asking if this nehily such a sponsorship. Again, there is nothing wrong to help, if you see reason in such an undertaking and you have the opportunity. But if it’s epic nonsense is the same bullshit, then you don’t have to sign, second argument, your family need to help. Your responsibility to family is to love and help them to the best of their forces and capabilities, and they are unlikely to have to stop you love if you won’t be able to help in a financial matter.
5. Live your life
We grow up thinking that our parents have all the answers, but one day you will catch a severe shock from the realization that even they are fallible, like all other people on planet Earth. Your mom and dad have done everything in their power to prepare you for life in our society, but perhaps many skills they did not have themselves.
That’s why it is necessary to continue their education at a Mature age when you already know what you need and what gaps need to be filled.
You can also observe the lessons your parents give you, but to re-learn and re-understand those moments in which they doubted or yourself. In any case, they feel pride when they see that you have succeeded, even despite the fact that your life and thinking radically different from them.