How not to lose a new relationship
Expensive edition. First of all wanted to say I love you read, on your toes not tell you how helpful instruction I received from your log, you are great well done, I wish you to live long and prosper.
Question I have a complicated, ridiculous, but I really want to get at least some advice in my difficult situation.
Some time ago (~3 months). I lost the girl that we were in a happy relationship for 7 years, of which a year lived together. To break went, there were many trivial and not so factors, but speech not about that. The parting was very hard because she went to another guy and they started Dating before the break, as I (unfortunately) found out and broke. Feelings of betrayal, panic, drop in self-esteem — all this came over a huge reservoir.
Don’t remember the first week after the break: total ashes, a desire to bring back mixed with hatred for her act — it was awful, but understandable. Greatly helped friends, were pulled from hysteria etc. After this stage I threw all the crap and decided to totally focus on you. Realized that the destiny gives a chance to start something that previously was never started, and all in such spirit. Enrolled in a driving school, began to write music, what was very long a lot of time to friends that had not so often seen. Understand that life goes on, everything seems to be good and all. Looked at free girls, but didn’t do anything because of wild inexperience, but it also worked.
At some point I realized that the relationship was very destructive, we were devouring each other and did not give output to their own personalities. At this point I realized that all is for the best that I fire the guy, and everything will be fine. Less often recalled painful events, less monitor her social networks, and so on. Of course, sometimes covered, but I coped. Then there was a period when there was a lot of work, often had to remain on 12-hour shifts, and the work I have is quite monotonous, and I started wildly to immerse yourself in. I went from moronic an adequate reflection of self-discovery. And I realized that from loneliness to howl.
Just want to say that I was not looking for any relationships consciously. Yes, it was sex desire, but no more.
And at one point I accidentally hit the concert of your favorite band in solitude. And you meet a girl with crazy easily begin to chat. The first night we kissed. Then there were several visits, and Oh my God, I was in seventh heaven and could not think of anything else. But at some point, when I returned home from another amazing date, on me a heavy burden was attacked by melancholy, anxiety, pain and fear. They don’t let me leave so far and can’t see that person.
My question is this: what is this shit? What to do? I very, very don’t want to lose the new girl because she really is lovely, she is not like the former, she has a lot of cool benefits, including a fantastic sex, it really suits me and really like it. When I’m with her most of the time I’m nice and relaxed. But should be alone — all down the drain, I was even physically sick. How to be?
Easy, boy, all my life painted. We are touched by such confidence, but think of the readers who all will read this. On the other hand, thank you, so it will be much easier.
I would like to ask, and monotonous work 12-hour changes are still relevant, are you still working? Maybe you are not out of status an ironic introspective? Reflection is good, only when it is adequate, when you can talk and deal with yourself. And when it causes rejection of self, do not suggests any remedies, but only ridicule, it’s idiotic. If this condition continues, even millions of dollars, tons of marijuana, friendship with Lev Leshchenko and other things, causing a sincere joy, will make you doubt. So chase this vermin out of my head (talking about reflection, not about the girl, don’t touch it!).
Actually, the recipe you know, do the same thing that brought you back to life after a breakup with a girl, that is, saturate your existence pleasant actions and spend more time with his new obsession, let the body gets used.
And now the second, most important, and in fact, the cause of all this shit — memories of previous relationships. After all, He said, the breakup was hard, but it does not go unnoticed. It’s like allergic to the cold: in the summer you don’t remember that your eyes start to desperately tear at the slightest breath of cold wind, and the skin to redden like a cancer in the boiling water. You live and enjoy the warmth, and then BAM — Hello and cold all over again.So here, an old wound opened, was covered by a purulent crust, and began a gush of foul-smelling discharge, barely you’ve got that relationship. So don’t worry, this is just the consequences, phantom pain, if you like. Subconsciously you for waiting the ground, and suddenly this girl also will meet in parallel with the cavalier, will break your heart and throw away the debris at flooded with crap pavement of broken love. This is the only pain in your relationship, or rather your asshole, the girl is innocent. So get rid of this feeling as soon as possible, otherwise it will occur in your future relationship.
You need to convince yourself that you can be happy and worthy of love. And how to do it? So just clench your teeth, to have the courage to continue to meet with the girl as if nothing had happened. You only suffering from the echoes of failed relationships, ECHO, you know?
This is what you do with the midges that tries to make your face as the field for his sexual harassment? You dismiss it. I will wave the bad feelings, because the pleasure and joy of meeting with his kitty, zaey, Madame (whatever you call each other?) everything will overlap. Now, if you were miserable with her — then we were advised to leave her and to find happiness in casual Affairs. And, go for health.In General, you understand: chase away reflection and climbed under the skull louse by the name of «I’m never lucky in love». The world’s not worth it, as the great singer and prophet San Battle: «love-cheating-no-no-no».
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