Expectation or Reality — the eternal battle, in which reality always loses
Remember the cartoon «Magazinchik Bo», where purple alien rabbit just grabbed people the device for making copies? In this series he even complained about abstract thinking, which always gives a person to be happy. Human was this rabbit ever we something currently head and share, and then upset that reality does not match our imagination. Oh we, the naive dudes. There are things that waiting is always better than the reality, and the reality is, on the contrary, fade before any expectations. We present to you our hit parade.
1. Protein bars and shakes
Chocolate, caramel, or nutty — you really think they taste be like? All protein bars taste reminiscent of stale and vile product of successful marketing. Even if you buy and decide to drink a protein shake with vanilla flavor, it will still give deceit. Protein everyone, please get away from me and take with me all these pictures of happy bullies, whose appearance shows that they’ve eaten something tasty, and not dried food for astronauts.
2. The photos on the phone
8 megapixels — so shove it up your ass! If you’re at a concert or festival and want to photograph something, the image will be the same as if you’re standing half a kilometer further than it actually is. If you’re trying to take a picture of a beautiful starry night your dreams shatter: you’ll only get a picture of darkness with vague points.
3. Everything you ordered through the Internet
I recently ordered a batch of «kit-cuts» with a sly Japan. Seduced by a strange and unusual flavors: wasabi, green tea, wine, coconut — what a party it was! «Kit:» of course I came, although I was beginning to think that they are on the road snack hungry postal workers of Russia. So, the chocolates were tiny — less than usual. I’m not gonna lie, sad.
4. Deregisters version movies
The Golden rule: to release the movie in theaters, it should be neutered. Remove all politically incorrect and outrageous, and obtained the average option to send to the audience. Where are my 25 minute genitals «Nymphomaniac»? They said it was important and lack of these frames, the film loses. What can I do?
How could you not like the video or text, a great video not for all. Anyway, someone will always be outraged in the comments, to Express their the right position, to expose the author or another commentator, rude, tired to breathe and other ways to not expose yourself in the best light. One disorder. And for some reason people often translate the theme and already swear just for swearing.
6. Ice cream
It always seems to be tastier than it really upsets immediately after the first bite. This is an individual phenomenon, instead of the word «ice cream» you can probably substitute something of their own.
7. Movies from books
When you love a book and someone takes her crappy movie — it’s almost like when you have a Triceratops, you love, care and cherish, and then his steal from you any shit, kill, and then sending you a tattered miniature Pinscher with a sign «Triceratops» on the neck.
8. Your reflection in the mirror after a workout
You want to see swapped and satisfied guy, and there’s somehow still the same you. You tried, sweated, stank — and remained the same, only tired. Stupid biceps. The idiotic press. Sometimes the result should appear immediately, otherwise the motivation comes to an end.
9. The list of speakers at the festival, where you’re not going
Everyone will be there! There are all interesting to me artists! There will even be a old and great Laurent Garnier who crawled out of the darkness and play with all the joy of reference of techno! So I wanted to hear it live his entire life… and will continue to dream, because I not the oligarch and not even his son. Once again someone else will come true my dream.
10. The amount of the check in the supermarket
You really managed to buy so much stuff? So many delicious, but not particularly necessary and unnecessary stuff? And who ever thought to give your hands a purse and a shopping cart?
11. The one who calls you when you are expecting an important call
Oh, mom, is that you? As always, on time however, this time I’m not getting off the bus and trying to keep my balance in the crowded transport. I’m just waiting until I call my potential employer, who needs to do that right now.
12. The translation of English songs
It sounds brilliant, you know all (or almost all) words, but never thought about the translation. What to know if everything is fine? But when you give trouble to understand something like I love bad bitches, that’s my fucking problem, the track ceases to be loved. Unfortunately.
13. The man you knew only through the Internet, in reality
Communication with a computer gives us the priceless opportunity to reflect, some time to rewrite the message and thanks to these actions look much cooler, smarter and funnier than we really are. From the outside we all look rock remove well done, but in reality many do not know how to talk to people — with the help of his mouth and being with them in the same room.