Do not be afraid of communication: 6 scientific evidence
In the subway, store, airport, College, everywhere you’re afraid of opposing views or uncomfortable silence, that to you someone to turn to. Such social disadvantage is very common, especially in large cities. You’re uncomfortable with those people you don’t know. And the reasons for this are many.
1. Your brain tells you everyone is watching you
Oh, My God! Do you see? He looked at you! Maybe you have something on your face? Maybe you look like a freak, dressed incorrectly or on your face smeared dog poop? You have to run!
Something like this could happen to you. From the point of view of science, our brains can often fool us. They distort your perception, making you think you are staring, even in that moment, when in your direction and never come back. Researchers from the University of Sydney conducted an interesting experiment. They gave subjects pictures and asked to indicate where looking people in the pictures. In those cases when the photo was slightly distorted and blurry, the subjects with certainty, talked about that person with a photo looking directly at them.
And it’s not so bad for the paranoid. It turns out that even when people just walk in your direction, your mind distorts their expression. That is, seeing a completely neutral person, you evaluate them as overly emotional and interested in you. So it is not always necessary to believe her eyes.
2. Still, other people’s views needed
You may be an introvert who strives to be more open? Don’t need to believe in yourself and try to the loss of pulse, just lie to other people’s expectations. Pretend to be an extrovert, because it works well.
For example, researchers took a group of volunteers to participate in the experiment. They were asked to answer a series of questions about themselves by writing it all on camera. The whole point was that each participant did two records: one, if subject is an introvert, and second, if a person is an extravert. The man that sits outside in the waiting area, and gave to view one of the records. The subject also had no idea what a record was viewed. Towards the end of the experiment, both person a conditional «interviewed» and «the observer», was placed in one room where they can interact with each other. So, the findings were the following: regardless of the personal inclinations of the subject, people are well communicated, if the observer watched «the extroverted version of» interview, and talked bad, if it was «introvert». Such cases.
3. Conversations with strangers are more useful than you think
The first conversation with a stranger is always meaningless chatter about trivial shit, or not? You ask about the weather, about how it will play CSKA Moscow this week about the new series of cars, that’s your favorite manufacturer?
But the interesting thing is that if you overcome your fear and enter into a conversation with a stranger, that pleasure, as the benefits of such conversation, you get much more than that guff, which runs with very familiar people. This conclusion is preceded by a series of studies.
Scientists, roughly speaking, put public transport passengers, forcing them to make difficult choices between a conversation with a stranger or the seat of place in absolute solitude. Most chose the second option. But those who were more bold, was not disappointed in your choice. At the end of the experiment, the people from the second group were convinced that a conversation with a stranger is much more useful than you would think.
4. Anxiety and self-control are taken from the same brain resource
Surprisingly, the same fuel that makes you worry, when you are not so looked up the police, giving your look a sense of veiled insults, also helps to keep yourself in hand when you want to throw one of his clients under the truck with chemical waste.
To prove this, researchers invented a new form of abuse of the subject. They took a group of people, pre-dividing it into two halves. One half was asked to keep a low profile and in the usual way, the other forced to live the life of an asshole and narcissistic ass. All the people were strangers to each other. Then scientists did some tests, the findings of which are the following. It turned out that those who were instructed to be a dick and get out of the comfort zone, subsequently, it is difficult to solve simple math problems, they less react to emotional movies. These people were placed in a high pressure situation, that reduced their mental capacity.
How to avoid it? Recipe one: relax.
5. Make new friends easier than you think
The researchers asked people to talk to each other in a crowded class for 45 minutes, using a set of standard questions that dealt both with General things and personal life, for example: «When did you last sing to yourself? For who else is singing?» or «When did you last scream at the other person, and when did it alone?»
The interesting thing is that the selected partners were ideologically different, do not agree with a single one of the very important issues. Some were, on the contrary, disagree with each other about everything. And you know, it made no difference, as about 90% of the total number of volunteers felt positive emotions when talking with strangers.
The leader of the experiment subsequently upgraded research. Crossed together of people of different professions and social status. Creative people interacted with the heads of companies, managers or ordinary workers. The same result. What does this mean? That even when we disagree with each other on major issues of society, of the universe, we can still fruitfully interact.
6. You have more to talk about than you think
Worst moment in a conversation is when there is an awkward silence. You had all of this and more than once. But that doesn’t mean that you’re so stupid that you can’t talk to a person ten minutes without all that toxic disturbance.
But anxiety also surrounds not only you, but the person to whom you are addressing. Research suggests that the average time the conversation contains about 10 awkward silences in a minute. We do not even notice. This number, of course, includes those breaks, which we separate from each other difficult words or distribute the text tone. Your brain frantically scrambles to finish the phrase you started. This proves that the reason for your silence was not the result of your personal incompetence in conversation, is a basic disadvantage of all mankind.
But there is good news. As it turned out, all these awkward pauses really make other people to trust you more. Thus, programmers who build robots to mimic the human voice, consider the inclusion of awkward pauses in the program to make it more natural.