Divorced male face

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Question:

Hi, revision manygoodtips.com!!!!

Really like your magazine. Read it for more than a year. Great article, very motivating. I write to you because I have problem that I can’t.

I divorced with my wife. The situation, as in most cases, stupid – different views on life. In short, I got busy with family, went to work on a budget, home. The result was not time for friends and fun, so I lost almost all contact with his side. And almost never walked. My wife, on the contrary, believed that while young, you need to party, relax, hang out at parties with friends, and then when we’re older, and have to start thinking about later life. That’s why we have fought with her the most.

I it is not forbidden to have fun and hoping that it will from time to time to help me that will support me. But this did not happen. Until Saturday, I was busy on the farm, she made plans, how to walk with my friends, go to the nail salon or just slept in until lunch… I’m Not gonna lie, it works too, even in the best of the company than I, also has certain responsibilities. But the majority of women’s duties: cooking, washing dishes, Laundry, cleaning – we divided equally, so often I do my job, and even partially her while she sleeps or walks. It ended up that we already were simply tenants. I offered to part and live separately, to check how to be apart. At first I was fine with because I understand that it is not lost himself, and on the contrary it is a very good thing – to live himself, especially for a guy, but despite all this, I realized that I love her and not want to break the relationship, and she understood the opposite and demanded a divorce. I know that in such a situation we blame both, but changing something only I…

The worst that the divorce dragged on for already 5 months and it constantly pressed on the wound and was very ill, severely hit on my self esteem, drove me into depression and apathy. I have remained friends because our mutual friends are mostly married couples. Therefore, in addition to the family, nobody supported me. Even the so-called «friends» didn’t call when you found out. On the one hand, it’s good that they dropped out, but in such situations, men’s support is very important and necessary.

I find it hard to cope with the stress and constant thoughts, although I understand that we lived very poorly. There were problems in all aspects of life, even in sex (we have almost none – a few times a month). Over the past year, there are no good memories. Often ask myself why I even married her, if the problems started before that? Thought things will get better, it got worse… We were together 7 years. Of these, nearly 4 lived together 2 and were married officially. 4 years ago my family experienced a tragedy that I was very down, I shut myself in, and since then we changed roles – the upper hand in the relationship she took, though I didn’t want to give in, and during this time, squeezed me like a rag…

Thought to find someone from divorced friends and ask how they survived all that he did, but if I have, then they have the situation completely opposite to mine. Usually parted because of alcohol, infidelity, and somehow not especially tormented…

I have read many of your articles about how to start a new relationship, how to believe in themselves, how to deal with complexes, but the article most suitable I have not found.

It’s hard for me to talk to a girl. In fact, I now like Rajesh Koothrappali: just can’t talk to a girl, even if I don’t particularly like… actually I’m tall, pretty good looking (for a guy), in the gym, not stupid, they know several languages and work as a designer that brings me more or less stable income. Live separately. Developed enough: read a lot and constantly trying to discover something new. I’m also an introvert, although often like big and noisy companies. I don’t praise myself, just when all of the above, feel you are «ugly rogue», which can give nothing to the girl.

I keep the opinion that if I divorced, that some «defective». And I think this definitely will think every girl. I understand that it’s only in my head, but it is very embarrassing. I find it hard myself to overcome. Many say that I am a perfectionist, and it can also disturb me to act because I’m afraid that will not justify their expectations, do not make it to the supplied strap and it will close even more. And still it took more than 7 years and I forgot how to meet girls, though I had great success in this business. (Apparently, this is just an excuse not to act.)

Now I’m 26 years old and I want to live for yourself before you create a new family. Want to reach your goals, but, despite all this, I really need new people for friendship and relationships. And if the first I’d do it myself, in terms of a friend I find it difficult to break the deadlock. What can you advise such a bro like me?

If you publish this letter and have questions, I will give clarifying answers in the comments.

Thank you!!

Answer:

Hey, dude! Thank you for your praise, we are very pleased! Properly done, what we wrote, maybe I will be able to help you. So let’s look again at the story in which you managed to get.

You rightly said that at one point my wife just reversed. Here can only blame myself: I had to immediately stop all its attempts to climb to the place of man. Unfortunately, your friend got it, that this is the main error of your relationship.

Actually usually is the opposite: the guy hanging around with friends in the clubs, and the girl carefully all pulling in the house, watching the family budget, not let the guy to thump on Friday it’s the face of a typical friend. Not a party girl, but the family of the girl. As you have already noticed that this person was not a bit like the face of your ex-wife.

You’re probably too early has become serious. It is clear that she wanted to walk, not all brains from 18 years configured for the improvement of the family. Most of the young boys and girls want plenty of work up and swell. You could not know about intentions of your girlfriend, because you have been living under the same roof for 4 years before you proposed to her.

So, exactly know what is coming. So, why did you do it? Why it’s even more irksome stamp in the passport? In any case, this choice you made many years ago, and nothing back, but it is better to work on the bugs.

I know you’re aware of their mistakes, but sometimes you simply too lazy to ponder over them as I do now. Let’s find the strength. Maybe you and this girl and had a family, but just met at the wrong time. His hints that she should be more home, you ran in it the mechanism of resistance.

Instead of the desired result is simply stretched her period this insatiable youth when you want to do everything, and it seems that time is short. If you hadn’t so clearly showed his seriousness towards her, she quickly changed. It’s like a dripping systematically the man: «Marry me want a wedding!» – you should know that this topic is annoying, and as a result lost all desire to propose.

Divorce is not a disaster of universal scale, and only the coup: old values overthrown in the name of building a new one.If the fuse is gone and you, as before, is configured to build a serious relationship, then you should definitely expect success. Now probably not going to find a young friend who will think only about the clubs. So you need to find a girl for the soul: calm home, as you should be.

It is difficult to cope with all the upheavals that produced life. Well, maybe better to rest? I am convinced that love finds itself. Of course, we should not sit idly by. Maybe try to find a friend in the network, as once did Koothrappali? There is nothing wrong, I have said that often in such unions is impossible to build a good family with children and all the rest.

Even if you do not look on the web wife, chat you it can’t hurt. If you have a favorite musical group, then find the same name with her.. Maybe there will be able to find friends with the same interests. At least you will have one playlist for two. Now for people’s musical taste is very important when choosing a partner.

By the way, you said that when faced with the problems that some of » friends «dropped out». Not you them myself to weed out when trying to build a happy family life that you needed one? Only himself to blame. Well, no, I understand, when a woman was forbidden to communicate with someone, then it would be possible to push everything to her. And so you yourself are all made with their own hands. And why? Then to be a victim?

What makes you think that a friend was supposed to close with you in the apartment, if you to protect themselves from happiness? You haven’t said why you have no sex. Who lost and who didn’t want to do it? Do not be surprised if it was her initiative. Your wife might be entertained not only with her friends. In those places, where these ladies come off, there are a lot of guys that are fun against friends.

I’m not saying she cheated, but I guess she eventually lost all desire to go under you. That and whoever tried to speak, the whole world still revolves around sex. If there is no sex, it means that the family will soon cease to exist.

You described their most remarkable quality, and you should know that there are girls and many of them you may be interested in. So, now I want to ask you, interested friends: if the author of the question to accomplish your goal in the comments, feel free to write the guy a personal message. It’s easy to do, even within our magazine.

I will not engage in solicitation, just want you was a little liberating. People, even if you are afraid to get acquainted on the streets, do it at least on the Internet. And then all will soon move from real sex exclusively on different sex toys.

Dude, in your case, no need to rush, don’t immediately dive into a serious relationship. I much envy you, you again feel the taste of first dates, kiss, sex… Try to relax a little. Not all the time vpahivat like a horse. Add a bit of romance and ease in your life.

Don’t know how much my advice is relevant. I believe that first and foremost you will have to disassemble a previous relationship, not to make the same mistakes. Good luck to you, man!

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