Disrespect: why it destroys any relationship
Mutual respect – everybody is talking about it when they start talking about the perfect or at least tolerable marriage, but no one explained the meaning of these words. «You just need to respect each other,» we are told family counselors or friends. But how to start to respect each other, if we can’t understand their actions, which can be called disrespectful?
Life together gives rise to many conflicts of interest at the household, financial and even ideological level. Actually you didn’t even know what aspects of your personality will irritate it, and what habits of his girlfriend will irritate you. We do not pay attention to the little things, because it is our existence, this whole family routine will occupy the bulk of his time. You should know when you came with her! Almost every couple can go through fire, water and copper pipes, but to go through the ordinary life and remain faithful to each other, is far from over.
The reason lies in human selfishness, which in itself is good: it adds +10 points to confidence. But if we are talking about living together, then selfishness can do with your feelings terrible things is to break them into pieces.
The preponderance of one or the other side threatens to turn into a disaster.
It is a complete lack of selfish in the beginning of the relationship almost as bad as his excessive presence, – remember those who are under the heel. It is therefore necessary to create an ideal environment for balancing and to accept them as the norm. Where to start? With the realization that there is in your particular case neglect.
One of the most important, in spite of its earthiness, the bone of contention. So here we can advise you only endless compromises. Just understand that you lived in the same family, with special rules and orders, and the friend lived in another, where everything was different. You used to hang a garbage bag on the door handle, and she store at the entrance. You used to wash the dishes after each meal, and it is a whole mountain and then begins to pay attention to it. In General, these differences trivial, but can serve as a pretext for quarrelling.
Since you’re a man you have to make the first step towards. It would be strange to live in his apartment according to the rules of another person, albeit very close, but you have to find the solutions that both parties agree. Not to reconstruct your life in the friend, but let her feel you like home. Respect in life is the first stage in the development of Homo sapiens.
A matter of taste
You read Sartre, Camus and Zizek Slavoj? A friend, meanwhile, leafing through a new book by E. L. James, author of «50 shades»? Believe me, even this phenomenon is not a reason to rape the tastes of his girlfriend, leave her alone and please don’t make fun of the person. Besides Sartre, the jerk so that you’re no better.
No one should have to adapt to you. And we love people not because they read us the same books and watch same movies. Differences in such soil – the top of idiocy. There are no «right» and «wrong» Hobbies, are only the ones that you like and which you don’t like. So hide your snobbery in the ass.
Perhaps the most disturbing statement of a friend that sounds something like: «are You ashamed of me?» Pronounced these words in such a way that I want under the ground to sink, fly down through the earth and end somewhere in another galaxy. And to be ashamed of what we have, because nobody’s perfect. We can be ashamed to show your girl friends for the reason that «it is not in the subject», or she talks too much, and even silly things that may not like the «narrow circle of persons».
In fact, true friends will never appreciate your girlfriend, and the fact that you hesitate of the person with whom you live, talking about the problems in your head, and not her personal qualities.
Work and money
As you don’t want to depend on the financial from a friend, and she doesn’t want to be a Freeloader. However, it is unlikely that you will earn exactly the same. There will be a gap, which can significantly affect relationships.
Of course, not only money influences the feelings, but also the specifics of the work. You cannot be a Professor in the Department, receiving money, and at the same time to mock a friend who works as a waitress, but gets six times more (and this is not uncommon).
Any work important, if he brings money or any benefit.
Many look down upon the work of his girlfriend, and then expect a large number of warm feelings for you, but not having sex – it was not necessary to be a jerk.
Work is always time that can never be filled. A friend can often speculate on this topic, expose your head with doubt: «But whether the job I chose?»; «Maybe I’m wasting my life in vain?» And when you openly mock her case, simply enclose the bomb. Respect work, whatever it was – so we were taught by parents.
The power of mind and strength of body
If you want your girlfriend started to do fitness, it’s not enough just to tell her that she has a few extra pounds similar attempt on the dignity. The development of (any, not just physical) should be approached delicately. Best of all, when you’re with a friend together, together go to the hall to support her and remain as form. Work together on yourself, learn a language, help with the diploma – working together saves a lot of relations.