Develop the stamina. Part 5: know and use your strengths
This is the fifth part of our series, is designed to help you develop vitality. To read everything in order, start at the beginning: of the first, second, third and fourth.
When we started to discuss the topic of sustainability, we have said that it is both active quality, and reaction skill that helps you survive and move forward.
In today’s text we will focus on the active aspect of sustainability, on how to gain confidence to take risks and make changes.
Dockable own sustainability and authenticity
When your self-esteem and sense of self-worth depend on other people, your job and other external factors, your confidence is very shaky and unstable. At any time that does not depend on factors you can change, and with them you can leave your happiness and confidence. Your emotional state improves and worsens, the mood jumps up and down like a roller coaster.
If you attach their self-worth with external factors, you are not able to take part in the adventure and see the world as a passionate researcher. When you base your self perception on extraneous things, any changes in them will confuse, excite and detain you, you will feel good. You avoid traveling, moving, changing jobs, relationships, because it will change your environment on which you are basing your concept of yourself, and so you won’t feel control.
To be sustainable you need to build a perception of yourself not on those things with which you create your life and yourself as you are; not on the external factors and strengths of your character that make you unique. Your unique strengths — the same tool that will allow you to build a happy and full life. Understanding what tools are in your Arsenal, giving you the confidence that you will be able to meet face to face with any difficulties that arise in your way. We can’t predict the future, but we can be sure that you will be able to handle anything that happens.
Basing your understanding on the strengths of your personality, you’ll be persistent what would have happened to you.
Think about it. You will not be able to survive the war with only one gun in his belt that you’ll always carry with me. Sometimes you need a knife and sometimes a grenade launcher. Any well-equipped warrior in this war.
Find the strengths of his character
Now we will focus on positive psychology. One day researchers Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson realized that too much of psychology focuses on psychological disorders and somehow also addressing mental health. For this reason, they began to create a list of not ailments and strengths. These doctors set out to find such qualities, which are almost universal, irrespective of time, religion and culture.
Their research studied the six main virtues, which are divided into 24 strengths of character. The strengths of the individual — is a direct path to those virtues, which they describe. In General, the list looks like this.
1. Wisdom, and cognitive skills, which involve the absorption and use of knowledge:
- openness to new information;
- love of learning;
- prospects for the future.
2. Emotional strengths that involve the development of will to reach goals and confront obstacles, internal and external:
3. Humanistic qualities, which include good attitude to people:
- respect for society.
4. Justice and citizenship, without which it is impossible to lead a healthy social life:
5. Moderation and the ability to protect itself from the excess of anything:
- forgiveness and mercy;
- modesty and humility;
16. Transcendent-oriented strengths that strengthen our connection with other people and the world:
- the ability to appreciate beauty and perfection;
Before we go any further, can Google test strengths of character. Well, they are different, as the questionnaires and tests based on pictures. They can’t describe you completely, to the smallest detail, but something can be gleaned from them. Seligman and Peterson recommend to evaluate the reliability of each traits according to the criteria:
- The sense of having a quality and authenticity («This is the real me»).
- The sense of excitement at the time of development specific strengths, especially in the beginning.
- Lifelong learning new ways to use this strong character traits.
- The desire to use their strengths.
- We can not use this trait, the person can be convinced not to show it.
- When you exhibit this quality,you don’t get exhausted, and feel invigorated.
- The creation and execution of personal projects that require this trait.
- Internal motivation to exercise this quality.
If you have typed several criteria, the quality do you have. Such traits inherent in man, he often demonstrates and develops. If the quality does not meet any of these criteria, it’s very simple: it is not your strong suit.
Use the strengths of his character, to increase the stability
Resistance is derived from those qualities that you find in yourself, not from hidden talents. It comes from the gradual manifestation of your unique inborn abilities in the process of individuation (according to Jung, the process of becoming a full-fledged human, a lifetime). The better you get, the more unique takes on your personality. It is an endless process.
When you have known your strengths you can use them in three ways.
1. Start to build their concept of themselves on their strengths, not on external factors
This is not some banal garbage to increase self-esteem, when each person is considered a priori special «because, well, in short». Strong side of his character — the things that make you unique and able to offer the world something special. Let yourself feel confident that you have something to give others. We may not be heroes in the conventional sense of the word, but on the strong side of his character we should look at both the superpowers, which you can use for the benefit of the world.
2. Take your strengths and consider them in its Arsenal in case of the difficulties of life
Unlike external conditions, inherent in you advantages when you can help you in any situation. If you leave, are fired or moved to a new place, your strengths of character are in front of you, ready to help you build a new life.
3. Develop your strengths at every opportunity
Building on the strengths of your character is way to full of life, recognition, satisfaction and happiness. Find ways to apply these qualities most often at work, in relationships, in the family — in all areas of life. The more pleasure you feel, the more you feel your strength, the easier for you to take risks and deal with setbacks.