Define man: some newsasia crap or real feelings?
As I wrote in the article about the lack of faith in love, people prefer not to seek love, not believe in it, and settle for convenience. There is another extreme, when people sincerely think they are in love, although in reality any person from clear that this is not so. These two were pretending to build real relationships, although in reality they are quite shamelessly trying to deceive themselves and others.
Someone might say, «Man, I need it to live! It’s not love?» No, dude, it’s not love. What you without it can not live a day, can mean not only without the longing of a loved one, but also dependency from a particular person. From Erich Fromm, really good psychoanalyst, was a series of works about love and about freedom. In the latter he wrote that commitment to one person often means that the patient has an authoritarian personality and wishes in one form or another to gain control over another person’s life or, on the contrary, wants to fully belong to someone. Suggest to read the books, they are worth it.
A parody of feelings can be easily mistaken for the real manifestation. Like a girl in love that you know when you started Dating; it seems that you are happy that she is always ready for you on this is. All the signs of true love there is, what else do you need? But love really is not as if you did not want. It’s disgusting unpleasant fact, which bears the simple title «addicted to love». This dependence has actively supported the old and evil social networks and other means of distance communication. Sometimes it so happens that the two constantly communicate with each other over the network, but when they are together, they have nothing to talk about, and frankly sometimes difficult to start the conversation. Most importantly, they are seen less frequently than texting, it strengthens the dependence on relationships and social networks.
The more often you two communicate with each other face-to-face, the more chances they have to be nice to each other and genuinely love each other. Sometimes during correspondence man behaves differently than in real life, there’s always something of yourself make up one’s mind to add imaginary emotions and interest. But when the two meet in real life, they absolutely nothing to talk about, and if there is, the conversation somehow did not catch on. This is a very common problem which is supplemented by the fact that the two and can not live a day without having to not to write to another person «Hey, what’s up?» In fact no one needs their feelings of dependence on each other and nothing more.
Maybe they have sex, but I consider that more likely these two just fuck and write to each other. Maybe they sometimes eat together. Hell, let these people will never come together: they will break up quickly and easily. There’s another outcome: they will live absolutely parallel to each other in such a comfortable symbiosis. And actually this is not good, because to live with someone who you don’t dear, is the same as to exist.
When two people both want nothing more than love-social dependence on each other, between them constantly there is a question of trust. All the time! That is, if you did not answer the phone call, stayed after work and in your life there was some kind of colleague Kate you a couple of times, drank coffee, expect trouble. A normal loving woman can relate to this with a little suspicion, but more often her head will not come any bad thoughts (because loves). A woman with a love addiction, on the contrary, dumped to scare you any adequate bro evil is simple nonsense: I guess you’re there with someone or just didn’t want to call her for fun. The other extreme of this behavior — the girl would be long and desperately to endure. She suffers, and remembers all the times when you did not answer the call, stayed after work, went nowhere or now you’re working in a team where there is a woman. All down the drain! It will constantly be calling you to ask what’s going on with you, to claim you have some vows and whatnot. Dependent on the relationship and love a woman is like the Queen of the harpies, who wants to tear your throat out with claws and drink your blood.
The same is going to do you, when you confuse love with a love addiction. You gonna call her if she stayed home. You’re going to get to her appearance when she goes somewhere (for example: «Why are you so ugly dressed to shame I will» or even «Where are you wearing such a long skirt right up to the knee!»). If her life suddenly flashed male friends and colleagues, you will strongly deny that they are «just friends» or «colleagues», forcing the girl in all seriousness to stop communication with them or to reduce it to a minimum. Usually the only men that you should really worry about is the former, others are just men who occasionally appear in her life. But the jealous man, dependent on women, would be to subjugate a woman to his will, she didn’t do anything to the man once again not worried.
And again come to the aid of social network. «Who liked your picture?», «Why did you come to this meeting without telling me?» «Who is this man in this photo?», «You’re too much in touch with my friends!», «You’ve been online but not replied to my message, you whore!» And this man is keenly aware of the dependence on another person, he feels that one day without her/him like flour, these are all things that must be true love, as taught us pop culture: addiction, tears, suffering, fear, betrayal and excitement. And that’s not love, and so…