Debilitating diseases of modern guy
You’re in a high risk zone, and above you hangs the threat of disease very specific diseases! For example…
1. Premature baldness from hats
You personally, as well as some parts of your body, you need to breathe to survive. One of these parts of the scalp. You wear a cap when you’re hot, and hats when it’s cold, and then one day the fatal notice bald spots that will soon turn into bald.
Treatment: apply Biotin for hair or castor oil on the affected areas and thoroughly massage them.
2. Bedsores freelancer
Work freelancer many opportunities and possibilities, but also fraught with hidden dangers, approaching with a rather unexpected side. You’re advertising your blog, write articles or run a website, a few days of taking his ass off the bed… don’t notice how numb your lower limbs and reduced motor function? No need to panic! We know how to heal you.
Treatment: work in catering as shock therapy for your feet and nervous system. Get out of your comfort zone and bedsores in the world of free cash and quality service!
3. The curvature of the neck
An unnatural position of the spine before bedtime (check mail VK), subway (read the book to see the film), in a cafe or club (select a filter for post in Instagram) gives you the status of the team over some ten years. No doubt.
Treatment: obvious. It’s time to break out of social networking and live in reality.
4. The syndrome of chronic Masturbation free porn
Once long ago, the frequency of the human wank depended on the size of the purse. Paid adult channels, movies and magazines – all this was done Amateur Masturbation in resounding penny. But now you can admire the three guys in banana costumes, and girl dressed as king Kong, absolutely free at any time of the day, there would be only the Internet access and locker room. It pulls stronger than a long walk on the moor. With every video you are becoming more sensitive and demanding to graphic images. Now, each next sequence should be more twisted and surprising than the previous one. What do you have in the end? Only the pain of social rejection, hairy, burned from the endless friction of the palm.
Treatment: you want to wank, you pay! I hope greed will prevail over the concern.
5. Severe hypothermia after Ice bucket challenge
Cold disease caused by repeated exposure to cold water on a skull – the price paid for the desire to Shine among thousands of similar idiots on YouTube.
Treatment: no treatment, there is only death.
6. Conversational narcolepsy
Sometimes when the conversation gets too boring or involves personal Finance, it may be suffering from acute narcolepsy spoken when the listener suddenly falls into a state of zombie and disconnected consciousness. The victims of this terrible disease suffer partial deafness, shortage of memory, confusing questions with answers and you can sleep with my eyes open, especially in the workplace.
Treatment: Jogging on the hundredth floor, orange juice.
7. Serial withdrawal symptoms
You inspect the last episode of the last season of the beloved series. And here’s to your neck rises nausea, you feel the approach of an attack of fever, you want a cold sweat. Like the heroin addict in recovery, you feel destructive physiological and emotional changes. Ahead of you a long process of depression, resistance, ambivalence and finally acceptance. The final credits of the show… and you’ll need to get your life in order.
Treatment:viewing of the series X Files. This is the only way.
You forgot to pay for Internet? Problems with the network? The failure of the station? You don’t know what to do and where to go, unable to move or speak! In such cases people do? In another room lies a book Ayn Rand «Atlas shrugged», but shock does not allow you to make a move. To watch TV? No, it’s too painful. Everyone knows that watching TV makes your brain soft. This state of indecision leads to disruption of sensory and motor function. That would now be googling «Lobotomy at home»…
Treatment: hacking wifi of a neighbor or the purchase of unlimited Internet on your phone for only 100 500 rubles a month.