Dating an ex of your best friend
This woman for a long time got your attention, she seem to be if not perfect then at least very, very cool. And here they are, and you suddenly begin to communicate with her, because before you talked, and now why not have a chat over a Cup of tea? You suddenly realize that your ex-friend is terrible like you seem to have a lot in common. But what is most important: it seems she got the hots for you. It would seem that your friend and she is two different people, nothing in common, but still a bit awkward. Dating an ex of your best friend or not — that is the question!
Your relationship with each other
We are constantly told that «dudes, more Chicks». Male friendship is always surrounded by a halo of moral purity and priority with respect to that fickle female. Often the way it is. Some people manage to have a strong friendly relationship based on mutual respect. In this case, it makes sense to deviate from this girl and find another. If your friendship began with a young Polish survived a school, University, and continues to go on, needless to say a fight over a girl somehow unworthy? Why bother to risk your relationship for women?
No matter how good it is, it’s unlikely she will be able to replace your friend. Sex is, of course, wonderful, emotional connection too. But the relationship between two people, which is referred to as a friendship that went through many trials, I agree that more and more correct.
Why your friend can’t treat this as the norm? After all, they all ended, and she no longer has any relation to it. This is the ideal. One can still feel emotions, and he can still perceive your ex as the man he once loved. And then you pulled out from the corner and begin my love attack. Man may consider it a betrayal.
Unfortunately, many men are still somewhat proprietary attitude towards women, even if they have long parted. It’s as if to brush someone else’s brush. The situation escalates. Of course, your friend can «let go» of the girl, but I don’t think your relationship with him will remain the same.
Your attitude to it
Considering, as an impartial judge, the relationship between these two, you know all their shortcomings and appreciated the advantages of this girl. You have enough information you analyzed their relationship and know the mistakes not to make. Also you probably know all the problems and the reasons why they broke up. Who left who? Is there any chance for a return to basics? Got out of a relationship or the actors are just tired of each other? He loved her, or she was merely a girl for a sweet relationship? Respect he valued her? But on the other hand, do not forget that his REAL intentions may be quite different. For example, he told you that he didn’t love her, but the reality was just the opposite.
How much time has passed since the breakup?
Even if your bro was a long and tender relationship with his ex, you still have a chance! The more time that passed, the less pain, disappointment and other garbage left between the two. If they broke up last week, and you’re going to do the first step, it would be kind of silly, isn’t it? But if he has another woman, and time has passed enough, you can try your luck.
Time is a subjective thing. Not to say that time is enough to feelings are gone. Most certainly enough, but there’s all sorts. In addition, never forget those dudes, which to meet with his former friend, even if feelings are no more is a taboo. In some ways it is a kind of violation of the code of male honor. I wonder why?
Why can it be taboo?
I think that women are not a commodity, but why all these restrictions? Of course, your friend, and she needs to heal the wounds of the shower and find yourself someone else, why limit yourself? In some ways it may be the same, which did not work, so the attitude may be appropriate.
Even if your friend gave you a formal blessing on the relationship with his ex, no need wuhaha happily, running to her to offer his hand and heart. No matter how it was sad and frustrating, sit down with him and talk openly. Tell him that you value him as a friend and never betray. Tell me about your feelings for your ex. His ex-girlfriend. Stay away from the concepts of «sexual attraction to her.» Be gentle and considerate. Reactions can vary from anger to silence.
A new relationship
Suppose that his former feelings for you, say your the best bro don’t mind. And you even started Dating. In deference to his friend you must do a few things:
Stop desperately to position you as a couple. At least the first few months.
To limit their appearance in public as a couple. Do not just go to public places as a couple by the hand and kissing passionately in the corner. Over time this will become self-evident.
Do not complain and do not seek his advice regarding her. This is something low, like you are still his stupidity and mistakes. If you have a problem with it, you decide.
No talking about sex. If your friend is not a pervert, don’t need to discuss with him the pleasure in bed with you and his ex. I agree that it is at least incorrect.