Cute guy: how to finish first in the race for the girl
We already told you how to understand that you belong to the cohort of «cute guys», the lion’s share of my life living in the friend zone. Check just in case, suddenly it’s about you?
The word «cute» so cute that any normal man it seems a curse. «There’s nothing worse than to be nice», thinks the man, taking a chunk of raw meat, because it’s brutal. Don’t be like him: he’s wrong. Women relate well to nice guys.
So it is: for a long term relationship, women try to choose a cute guy, and disobedient to their stalling or low self-esteem, or sense of adventure. The lady who stands firmly on the ground with both feet, choose a cute guy, while not devoid of determination, courage and hardness. Cute is not always a pushover. But still very often.
As with everything, the main thing here is to strike a balance. To be nice without being weak-willed schmuck. What mistakes pull you in eternal solitude?
1. All the attention on one woman
Not every friend you meant to flirt, I will answer you in return. Not every woman wants to go on a date with you. Weird, huh? If you are moving at a snail’s pace to that of the moon dreams, here you are stuck for a long time. Increases the chance to be rebuffed and your fear to take the initiative.
In the first case, you put all his fortune on a single horse, rather than a more reasonable game. The more you fantasize about her and feel free to come, the more experience you gain in this time your friends are trying yourself with different friends.
In the second case we see a classic case of self-deception. The longer we wait the right moment to plan the perfect date, the more ridiculous and awkward it will look in your attempt in reality. And the clumsiness is so sweet.
2. Give up easily
Always surrendering and obeying to someone else’s desires, you find yourself with an insecure little guy who lacks the strength to defend their own opinion. People often confuse a willingness to give and care for others — and this is a huge mistake. If you always shrug their shoulders and say «Well as want» — you need to change something, yet she doesn’t leave. Her slave does not need — she needs an equal.
3. Doing too much for others
In General, doing something not for yourself — it’s even good. However, when this behavior becomes a habit, ask yourself a question: what the fuck are you doing this? Do you really want to do it or deep down are hoping to get something in return? At least a small erundovina? To do something for others that you appreciate and pay attention to you, joining your company — a failing strategy. So you don’t get anything. For someone would you not try, you will not appreciate, but simply sits on your neck helpful.
4. To avoid conflicts
You rarely talk about what’s bothering you? You rarely speak about their desires, needs and expectations? Then, you avoid conflicts. No excuses: this is different from periodic attempts to hush up the quarrel. You natural way plugging my throat and prefer to keep their problems.
Instead of compromise, to show irritation, to argue that you prefer to ignore their own feelings. Are you ready to suffer and suffer, if only she doesn’t leave. Sucks for you. The bad, so nothing to fix: she doesn’t even know about your dissatisfaction, if you don’t tell her.
5. Too long to recover
When we are rejected, we experience it almost as a physical pain, so parting is such a mess. Your eggs do not evaporate because of your ability to experience strong feelings, but if you spent months lying on the couch in the fetal position after a breakup and don’t want to look at women, this is what it says. That you’re afraid of emotional pain, for example. In childhood for this teased girl.
6. Not have other advantages
Cute is not that important. Second-rate dignity. In other words, if a woman has a choice between two nestrashnye dude, she will not necessarily choose the one who nice. There are more important for friends benefits: the mind, sense of humor, looks, skills in bed, the ability to interact with people and even income. If you’re cute, it’s like a signal: «Baba izvinite, nothing more to please you can’t.» You must have other valuable qualities.
7. To always apologize for everything
Even if you accidentally screwed up on the little things (splashed beer on her knee in the pub or ordered the dish). Endless apologies are not talking about you as a confident guy. The next time you kneel to repent, ask yourself: is that really something to get better? If not, better to laugh at a mistake and to try not to do.
8. To be timid
First, it sometimes happens even to the best of us, and then to twenty years we learn to deal with it. If you still can’t overcome shyness, this is the stone that hangs round your neck while you’re floundering in a river called relationships and more entangled in their insecurities, low self-esteem and the habit of obedience. Here is the RUB. To learn, for example, public speaking — should help.
9. Not to take the first step
Some people think that such behavior automatically writes them to the gentlemen. You know what most people think, women? What if they make the first move, they get shot down. So, if in doubt, better start myself. Always, always do the first step.
10. That is, right off the bat
Moscow was not built. The relationship is almost Moscow. They go through many phases, and it takes time. First, a candy-bouquet period, and then some semblance of a honeymoon, when you are all well, and the next stage, when things are not as good as before, but there is a strong bond between you.
Enough to start a couple of times a week so as not to seem she is too serious and passionate about it. Enjoy your personal space while you can. Not on the second date, tell her that you love her. It’s too much.