Can I go back to «just friends»?
Sex on demand without the hassle, trust and commitment — which it would seem could be better? To have a friends with features is a win-win situation, but when the sexual tension fizzles, it remains something strange. After that, we just wish that everything was back to normal. This is not an easy task, but we still tried to choose for you tips to get back to this «we just friends».
Why stay friends?
The first and most important question: why bother to stay friends with a girl whom you have just ended the sex? Traditional wisdom tells us that it is impossible or at best not worth the effort. Most often this axiom is absolutely true.
But if the girl was a close friend from the beginning? In the end, with that person you’ve been friends, and it feels comfortable. Such people find it difficult to refuse. I suggest that ideally, even start Dating her, if everything is so awesome. But if you want to save the friendship, let’s try it.
Make sure the feeling is mutual
Before returning to «just friends» you need to make sure that these feelings are mutual. Articulate a clear type of relationship in which you want to see yourself and her. Make sure she wants the same. For this you need to ask her a few questions.
Does she want to stop your friendship?
This question is asked to clarify what you actually wish to continue to be friends as if nothing happened. Also, this question shows that you actually agree with any of her decision. Like a gentleman.
Sex end the relationship?
If it is the end, it may not be your friend, even ubeysya. There are people for whom sex is unacceptable in a friendship, you know why? Because friendship with sex is not friendship. If you feel that she is not eager to continue to be friends with you, and comes into contact due to simple courtesy, then wait a bit, maybe the situation will be corrected. But, most likely, no.
She is making efforts to stay in touch?
If the girl seldom returns your calls and messages, she writes you very rarely, then it’s a bad sign. If she meets you and writes with hunting, but does not dare to meet you, know and don’t be scared — everything is fine. It has not yet processed what happened. Maybe it’ll get better.
If she wants something more
If suddenly you realize that the girl wants something bigger, and you don’t want, because she’s a bro and all, here’s a few tips to give her to understand that she interpreted your actions correctly.
1. Avoid spending time alone with her
When once again, you’re spending time together, do it. This will help to strengthen him in the confidence that you want to just be her friend. And it would negate some first awkwardness.
2. Don’t see her tonight
Are there any plans? Bring them in the daytime. The fact that the evening of the meeting assuming you’ll spend the night together. And that’s all we need, right?
3. To meet another
To tell her and ask her to do the same. If it is going to blow, it means that she needs more time. If after that she doesn’t want to see you, so that’s the end.
4. Fight the temptation to rekindle the romance
Either way, you can be in a situation which clearly alludes to sex. But if last night’s hot friendly fuck (yuck!) were awesome, the temptation will be very great. Fight, man!
5. To accept that she needs more time
So, we wrote several times about this above, but it can be easy and bring in a separate paragraph. Time heals wounds. Time gives you a chance to get used to the idea that you made a mistake. Time calms emotions and helps us to remember how cool it was to be friends. It is not necessary to hurry and rush the girl.
6. Give her space
All need different time to calm down. You may be one week, and she seriously will need months. Stop being selfish, don’t think if you it was okay and you feel able to restore the friendship with her, that means she has recovered and wants the same. If she answers you in monosyllables, and somehow not eager to communicate with you, give her time or walk away. Now!
Know when to stop trying
Sometimes, unfortunately, your friend can no longer be friends with you. She has resentment, harassment, romantic or she believes that sex and friendship are not compatible. How to understand what you and she fail?
Ask yourself the following questions to understand that your friendship can no longer be saved:
1. You see her friend?
If it suddenly during a conversation mentioned something like, «but it could have been…», know that this is the end. It’s unlikely she’ll forgive you, this is not random sex. She still has the types of romantic and Platonic relationship for her of the friend zone.
2. Is she jealous?
If you have a problem when she finds out about the other women, it’s bad. She’s jealous and is constantly asking you about it, growling and all that? Needless to say that nothing will work?
3. She’s mad at you?
She reminds you about yourself? She gets in your presence, and half conversations with you — awkward silence? Looks like she will still be hurt the feeling. Maybe she’ll never forgive you because it is all despicable.
Live and let live. Don’t beat yourself up over that friendship ended. I’m not saying you did bad, reckless and pig — often it’s obvious. I mean, you just can’t change the situation. Just live and let her live.