Calls the mother, and attention problems to relatives
Hello, my favorite journal!
Always with interest I read all the articles, thank you very much to everyone who is working on new material and covers so many important and necessary topics. So about them. You want advice, because one head is good, but the issue is complicated and to understand yourself is difficult. I’m a typical introvert, and dealing with people is a lot of stress, even with loved ones. I in family the only child. A few months live separately from their parents, and the mother is very worried that I won’t talk to her. So not on purpose, but I don’t know what to say? «Today at work was boring 10 pieces of paper in the dining room gave a very delicious soup and sweets on the evolution of Pikachu is not enough». In a gray office weekdays nothing interesting really happens. Do not refuse to help if asked, but my mother is still upset that few will deal with it. And we ought to begin to help financially, but how competently to approach to this conversation and how to organize everything, is also not presented. How to be? How to communicate with their relatives and not let them feel abandoned?
Asking to remain anonymous.
Hello our beloved reader. Actually, thank you for this question, prostration, and cookies for a gift. Probably had to touch this challenging, topical subjects. Although, in General, nothing complicated here. You just have to bring yourself and understand some simple things to you now, because of their age, can not be understood.
Most importantly, you will not be able to understand is the biggest, powerful and sincere virtue in the world, where and nowhere near worth the love of husband and wife, dog devotion and sincere friendship to the last. Talking about maternal love.
A large force of the most sacrificial, sincere, pure and faithful love. When you have children, which we sincerely hope you will love to loss of pulse, for which you will worry and worry every second when they are not around you, this great power will become clear.
But still, parental love is with the parent does not go to any comparison. After all, this sacred bond between the woman who bore you in her womb 9 months, and then relentlessly protecting your pure sleep of a child up to 18 years (because a loving mother cares for their child always) and you, a little different. Parents also love their children, but this love, no matter how sincere it may be, is quite different.
In all religions, beliefs, all peoples — mother’s love was revered as higher power, great and indestructible. In Christianity the love of the virgin Mary to Jesus is revered separately, even Harry Potter, if you recall, saved a mother’s love. Mom — the person who raised you, spent a lot of nights will not betray you ever, he loves you just the way you are. Why the sons of the mother, most often, are more sensitive. God knows why.
Mother always worried for their child, no matter how many years it was not. Even if you live in the same apartment, and you’re already well over 30. Even though you almost do not communicate, it is important to know that you’re okay, and that is enough. What you don’t talk very much — a shame of course, but most importantly, you have all been good.
You see, Mama — it’s something different from your girlfriend. Mom will not require a new iPhone, she would rather buy it for you. Now imagine a horrible scene: one day chick, which was under the eye of mother goose, flies into a terrible world where everything is throw each other, con, deceive.Yes, you have manifested the beginnings of independence when you were out late, came home in the morning, went out with girls and pretend to be all that great. But now it’s for real, you live alone, in another city, and maternal heart no rest. Still gonna find a bitch that will you to spin as he wants, so good and Golden boy. In her soul of rest is not going to happen to you can happen if you earn sickness, sadness, drugs will be hooked. However, if you have a daughter, you will feel similar feelings. Son easier, he’s your sequel, and you wish he had grabbed adventure tempered by nature at your example, and after passing certain tests became a man. A daughter, a delicate creature, a Princess, imprisoned by the will of his father in the castle of love, care and concern. After all, it is bad luck to all parents: you bring your Princess in love and joy no to her not refusing, and then there’s a guy who leads her from the paternal home, and, excuse me, hacking its purity and innocence, which you cherished so much. And here it is, a father’s jealousy, you love her sincerely, a love that is indescribable and he can’t leave her to hurt. It seems to be all natural, but still, are you sure that their love is more of lust, whereas in the your exceptional purity and soul.
So your mother and uncomfortable with the thought that you will find the girl who will replace her at least something (although the mother will not replace anyone). Do you not understand how frustrating when your child, who took so much strength and love (of money in a decent mothers it is not) at one point leaves his father’s house, like the empty diamond mine, sucked best.
And add to all this anguish. I don’t know what your relationship was like, but if very friendly and often spoke to, were, except that relatives, and even friends, your mom just very sad without you.
The Chinese say: «God forbid you live in interesting times». And in most cases for parents, changes in the family — the worst of any default. As many speak about the need to get out from under the wing, but less worry they won’t. Everyone understands that it is necessary, but… but you understand that we need to start to exercise, find a hobby, girlfriend, but even a finger does not hit to at least somehow improve the situation.
And on top of these cakes from a parent suffering pour the cream made of the downed women’s suspiciousness. Over the years, women become wiser and stuff, which seems insane, weathered out of their heads. But when it comes to kids, forget about common sense and surrender yourself to the anxieties and purified maternal instinct.
Of course, not all mothers are, but something tells me that your description reminded me of my beloved mother, who put too much so I was happy, one with nature, your mother with the Holy breed that lives and does everything for Chad, and sometimes, unfortunately, without noticing that this surjasurate only hurts them. And what a pity that we often realize too late how much they gave so we were full, satisfied and in what does not deny. You know, at such moments, it gets so bad, so bad that I start to go crazy. I want to call you to tell you something stupid, even the damn soup and a boring paper, and no one. So appreciate what you have at the time.And to answer your question, how to deal with relatives that they don’t feel abandoned… and did, indeed, only calling every day and talking about all those little things your boring life. Mom really I wonder if she’s really worried. Main thing is to avoid any trouble, and all went well.
Of course, you can go crazy from the constant conversations about anything, but understand her, for her report about what you well-fed, happy and healthy still that the news of the victory of their favorite team, going to the movies in childhood, the occurrence of Friday for Robinson is the real meaning of life. She is the very meaning of life, the rogue is. At least twice a day, take an interest in how business, briefly describe your adventures, even the most insignificant (to her everything that’s going on with you), I find the strength to listen to all the advice, teachings and news about distant relatives and continue to live your life.
Get your mom, then like her, how would not hurt, to understand why such calls are rare, the voice on the other end of the phone so dry as soon as possible and hurry to hang up. She understands, because she knows you much better than you think, and knows that there’s nothing to tell. But nothing can do for the longing and affection have taken their toll. And yet, mom will take you out of any: sank to the bottom ragged from the painting «the prodigal son», a proud narcissist who believes that he has achieved in life itself (forgetting about the enormous parental contribution), or the average loser. Take all your excuses, excuses, made up reasons to not come. It will be a shame, but nothing important that you have all been good.
Relatives and friends, she still will tell, what you done, and what could be coming for the holidays, knowing I won’t. Although complain close girlfriends and a glass of some Chardonnay, for such a simple thing as an independent grown up son. How strange, though, in the childhood you waited, with tears in his eyes, when the mother, now the opposite is true. And you know, in order to make them happy enough to come more often and calling often, but burdened career race and a race over the peaks of creative growth, but constantly there are some reasons, ranging from laziness, to seem more important. Maybe now this picture seems to you somewhat exaggerated, but later it will.Once again, mom will take you to any, she’ll understand whatever decision you make, whatever’s good for you. But she needs to get used to the fact that you’re far away. Yes, it sometimes takes more than a month. Do not care, introvert or not, talk to her at least a little, this is the most native person in the world, paying such a small price to pay for the warmth and sincerity which she put into you. People need to love the here and now, to honor them with attention when they are alive, to enjoy fellowship with them until they have something to say, and not regret the lost time when it’s too late. There’s nothing worse than desire, comes too late. There is nothing worse than the realization that comes at the moment when all is lost. And there is nothing more painful love that there is no one to give.
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