As a teetotaler to socialize with drinking friends

manygoodtips.com_13.09.2016_M7yCewIMO4vVs

Question

Salute, my friend. Now I have no one to turn to, so I hope you do.

It so happened that since childhood I have an ardent aversion to alcohol. Through him my father had left the family because of some booze at home, I often slept in front of the school, was forced to listen to drunken abuse, Russian pop music, sometimes watched scenes of violence. Now I’m 20, I study at the University, gain mind. However, now I train I am convinced that alcohol is bad. After these words, many will want to convince me otherwise: it’s fun, helps to get rid of problems and so on, but I’ll stand my ground. So, I turn to the problem.

I don’t get to communicate with their peers and classmates. All their conversations are reduced to drunk history, who, what, excuse me, threw up, when will the list for the house/a drunk walk, etc. Yes, that’s their business, but I do it alien and unpleasant.

For example, I suggest my friends to spend the weekend civilized, without the alcohol. I immediately say that it’s boring and not willing to listen to me. Am I destined his entire youth to spend alone, only because I’m not a supporter of alcohol?

The answer

Glad to see the questioning at least one person with a healthy liver. Glory and honor to you, although for us it means nothing. If you read us long enough, you will realize that our attitude to alcohol itself is quite welcoming, despite the fact that in the editorial there are many non-drinking people, but you’re out of luck — return your drink. I’ll try to touch on not only your question but also the General attitude towards alcohol consumption.

So, your aversion to alcohol is purely psychological. It is possible that you reinforce that feeling with some rational explanation («alcohol is injurious to health, psyche and personal integrity») in order to deal with traumatic memories. You see the bottle and remember the violence of the father and other «wonders of the Russian provinces». We’ll tell you a nasty thing, but it wasn’t the alcohol — it was the fact that people are shit. And sober there is a lot of horror, as if the design «of the Gulag and Nazi concentration camps. In man there are seeds of evil that can grow regardless of the fact that he pours down his throat, be it whisky or tea with honey. I know a lot of drunks (real alcoholics), which are excellent in dealing with people. I have non-drinking friends to whom I would have never turned his back — just stuck a knife. I would not say that the alcohol content in the blood somehow affects the core of the human person — the alcohol gives the individual fantastic shapes, starts the process of «fulfillment of desires on the machine», in some cases, makes it pointless, but extremely honest.

The author of excellent fiction «Cosmonauts Street» was talking about booze, how about «space trials.» For him, any booze was a kind of magical and spiritual action for which, at times, a person needs to pass in order to know oneself better. This idea can be linked with the ancient rites of worship of the God Dionysus. But testing and trials, that not all of his are, not all become stronger after it. That is why Charles Bukowski wrote elegant books that have been imbued with the spirit of alcoholism and drunk neighbor only writes blood-and-yellow jet in the snow his name and the error. We don’t want you to sleep, but you still try to look at the alcohol on the other hand. Perhaps you’ll understand why people consciously or subconsciously are drawn to drinking. Why some drinking culture, and some guzzle vodka like pigs. And why alcohol is a part of human culture, and not simply a part of the modern consumer society.Now turn to your question, and you’re still waiting, waiting, and I tell you about the benefits of alcoholism to tell. Not behind it here. Let’s start with the most important — if your friends, buddies and classmates don’t do anything interesting, except a hell of booze, to be friends with them nothing. Honestly, I can hardly imagine that people only want to drink — especially in the age of 20, as students. So there was one question for you: «are you honest with us?». Maybe the guys just discussed a few drunk stories, laughed heartily and went on to the fields and forests? Or are they just doing what they drink, puke and drink again? Then there is only one option — to change the circle of communication. Now do this quite easily. For example, start walking to places that are immune from drunken rednecks — literary evenings (there is only thumps poets); art exhibitions; public lectures; sporting events; camping trips; special poker gatherings; gatherings Board games; collection of municipal self-government. Actually, a lot of variants. People now prefer kuchkovatsya interest, and any productive thing provides orientation to sobriety. That is, it is unlikely that you will be at the meeting, the poker club, where all participants will roll under the table from counterfeit vodka. Maybe someone will miss the Cup, the other, but is disastrous for you? Just ignore it and play.

In General, you need to find people who will become your peers. And, believe me, it is better not to focus on the non-drinker. Such groups also exist, but they are so sad, want to cry. Imagine meeting adult men who only talk about how it’s good to be sober and how bad it is to be drunk? Resembles a series of » South Park «Threat of complacency» (a must see if you know what I mean). Incidentally, such a meeting was and the enemy does not want such Dating. Generally, on this subject, we even have a text — take, read, we do not mind. Added tip — if any company you see that the guy is taking a third mug of beer, then don’t look at him as a jerk and prick. Why teetotal this sin, and then surprised his black eye. In the company everyone should feel comfortable.To sum up. No, you’re not going to spend my youth alone. If you start looking for interest groups, you will quickly run into people who are pleasant to talk to and. It is enough to show social activity and to stop hoping classmates — let them live their lives, and you are his. If you see that the relationship with her husband has acquired a destructive character, then look for a new company. In search of new friends we encourage you to jump above the head. In other words surround yourself with people with higher status than yourself.

PS. By the way, what is your understanding of «time civilized»?

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