As a gesture to show their interest
At a certain age your parents begin to doubt your mental abilities. One of the reasons is your inability to focus on long, interesting conversations. There can be many reasons, ranging from the banal attention deficit disorder and ending of congenital idiocy.
And people are offended that you are unable to hear. Say, say, say like it was boring and monotone, so that to concentrate on the conversation and not to leave is simply impossible. To capture the essence of their monologue arbitrade — you’re always distracted.
Of course, you can try to be focused, but it’s too hard. And why listen to a stupid uninteresting people, if you can just to create the appearance of interest.
1. Smile and nod
Body language plays a key role in the process of the conversation, but any gestures, and intonation, can be faked.
For example like you, soldier, to your boss. Was he with you smart to talk the talk, jokes its not funny for you to try, and otherwise make fun of your hearing. He does not mind — offended, the tyrant cursed, fired again, which is good. And if you see that you fell in prostration, you would be offended even more, waswasa and kicked.
It is worth saying that to Express their disinterest and frankly bored with the conversation very rude. The interlocutors can see your bored-whiny look and greatly upset by their poverty. You’re also frustrating when you don’t listen and interrupt?
So it’s best to pretend. And the good relationship will continue, and confusion will not be. The easiest way the interest is shown with a light smile and a nod. So the source thinks that the stories about the Italian occupation of Albania really interesting at 3am. And you sit and think how stupid you look, smiling and nodding.
Most importantly, don’t nod too often, do it with frequency, and then the awkward: «are You even listening to me?» come out of his mouth.
Why the smile? It shows that you’re well-inclined to the other party. Sometimes people just need to see you it is well treated. Well, the nods show your consent and solidarity. Sometimes these two things enough to make a revolution on a Caribbean island.
So if you feel during the conversation, swam, and was surprised to discover that you think about the tulips; if difficult to parse his words, it’s time to turn debilchik.
2. Change the subject
Brave self-sufficient people, listening to interesting conversation, just say to your interlocutor in the eyes: «Hey, honestly, no fucking shit your story, I fall asleep. Let’s sit silently.»
And even more brave and more self-sufficient people say the same thing, but very politely. They say: «When a man stops in mid-sentence and begins to remember a familiar word, it’s time to offer him to change the subject. This is especially necessary in a conversation with a hyperactive people who will furiously tell you the most absurd information.»
Use this tiny instant to talk about really interesting things. But if you’re bored, then suggestions to change the theme will not do. Have to nod and smile.
When you’re in a circle of unfamiliar people talking about strange, strange things to you, you have to think, suggest a pause in the theme, but only one that will not cause them to have such a violent controversy.
Just remember that the offer on change of the topic must be tied to the thread of the conversation, there should be something like: «you mentioned… and I have a question for you…» or «You mentioned…» or «You reminded me today about…».
3. Watch your body language
In the conversation tete-a-tete about 80% of the information we perceive through gestures. Gestures and facial expressions like add and update. In the end, it is the gestures and the glance can hint at what the conversation, to put it mildly, develops a bit in the wrong direction. For this purpose, as mentioned above, perfect the nod and smile. But not so simple.
As they say the eyes are the mirror of the soul, and if soul will become boring to talk to, it will immediately catch the eye. And before you realize what is happening than to come to you at the last minute went and thought about the dogs, you’re gonna ask this tricky question: «are You even listening?».
Therefore, you will need to focus to catch the moment when you swam, and make some obscure step: you may be, to bend, to nod, fidgeting on the sofa as if in search of your favorite places. And at the same time, whatever the conversation, do the surprised eyes focused. Win-win party. If all expressions in order, from the side it would look like you were very engaged in the conversation, but you feel uncomfortable.
Most importantly, do not consider yourself a liar, a scoundrel and a deceiver. The majority of interviewees are nonsense, but the hierarchy and other attributes of the modern world make you listen to the boss, grandma, jokes and awesome stories of doctor who makes you a white ticket.