For ourselves we must stand solidly. If you don’t stand up, and the other can’t. Here is the good old rule: love yourself — and love others.
We let too many close ones. It seems to us that the really close people can’t do anything bad to us. So much we let them that causes other people to consider us invertebrates and flabby. Don’t let for that reason. Don’t let these things no girl, no friends, no relatives, anyone at all. Politely and firmly block all attempts to do so. It’s your life. You can’t control everything, especially other people’s behavior and their actions, but you can show that you have character. Also, these taboos are a great way to conduct a «cleansing» among his friends.
1. Don’t let people to involve themselves in senseless disputes
In a dispute born truth, but only when interlocutors listen to each other. Two people who do not want to prove to each other, and looking for optimal point — but who will find the truth in a dispute. If they only want to prove their innocence, dispute is useless. Your intelligence or self-esteem is not determined by the number of disputes, but those disputes, from which you refused, have much to say about you.
2. Allow people to remember your past mistakes
You didn’t get the first time? You were Dating was a bad woman? You gave all your savings into a questionable Foundation? Yes, it’s the mistakes that give us invaluable experience, provided of course that we made the right conclusions from them. If one of your loved ones constantly remind you about your problems, tell him to not do that. Do that for manipulation to cause guilt.
3. Attempt to replace your truth and point of view, his
If a person is constantly dripping on the brain you about your world, forcing you to change, put it before the fact: you’re not going to change, and your views are justified. Often do relatives who are not satisfied with what you are, for example, atheist, agnostic, Buddhist, meditate, weightlifting, refuse to eat meat, don’t want to buy a car instead of a large, growing facial hair is not going to have children or to get married in the near future. The older generation, among whom authoritarian mindset and the «parent protest» occur very often, it seems wrong that you do not live like normal people». Many of them sincerely want you to be happy, but for the most part, even the most dear to our heart, people impose their vision, wanting to feel the power.
4. Let people intimidate you
Intimidate is not normal. A mild planted in a bed with a severed horse head from the movie «the Godfather». Intimidation is violence against the person, which is absolutely not normal.
Unfortunately, some can’t be happy until you have to trample the other into the mud. Tell these «close people» that they can’t threaten you. Usually resorted to the intimidation of people who feel that someone is out of their control. This fact is very annoying and makes the show his true authoritarian face. Apparently, you used them this allowed. Don’t give them this freedom of action! Nobody has the right to Lord it over you.
5. Allow people to lie about you
If any of your friends are spreading rumors about you, keep them. Talk to them in the very hard tone, reputation is important for everyone!
6. To let to lie to you
Sometimes a white lie, but without it it would be possible to do. Yes, we do not consider the cases of the lies! If you cheated once, blame the bad people, if you cheated twice, you’re to blame: it is not necessary to forgive. No one will think that you forgive for the wonderful nature, everyone will think that you forgive because the sucker and I’m afraid to lose people. If someone cheated on you, drive him. Someone will be surprised: how is it you friend drove? Just think, you deceived the people several times, took advantage of the situation, who would be in his place did not? Can these opportunists to kick on the light pretty good people!
7. To let people use your kindness
All believe that altruism is great. After death go to heaven! Great: Paradise and other nishtyaki eternal life, but what to do with life on earth? Do you plan on dying early due to the fact that doing the work of ten people?
Help people, that’s absolutely fine, but don’t need to do for others all the work is unnecessary. No one will appreciate. Ah Yes, life after death, no!
8. To hate people in response
«An eye for an eye» will make the world blind,» said Gandhi clever. Well, hates you, one person, that’s his problem. Hate in response immature, wave your hand and move on.
9. Let others assure you that change is bad
Some comrades do not like change even in someone else’s life. They remain in the same positions, and you go forward, and sharply and decisively. Changes in our lives happen for natural reasons, because we have possibilities and that something ended. You really think someone can solve it for you?
10. To allow people to push you away from the important for you classes
It seems to be the closest people we should all support, but this is the ideal. If the person next to you does not perceive any real Hobbies, and lives a humdrum life in the worst sense of the word, he will do everything to deter your hobby that adorn your life.
It would seem that it can be bad, if a person is over thirty and he spends part of its budget for gluing and painting models of tanks during the Second world war? Someone from this bad? Anyone at all. But the guy is very different from accepted norms, which tell us that in thirty years you need to «settle down». And why know that word to become dull and not have any other business than porn hits late at night and making money on another iPhone for my wife? Hobby, and all, is not an indicator of immaturity and passions that make our life happier.