A virtuous life: calm

how to cope with anger

Every day we are faced with thousands of annoying little things. Some jerk might cut you on the way to work, you may have to pull the wheel, the girl can get nasty you’re in the store and a bunch-a whole bunch. It all seems nonsense, but these things permanently settle in our minds. The small troubles of life suck out of our lives. In the end, we can start to get irritated over the most minor things. Can we be angry without end.

In Western society, anger is often associated with toughness and courage. Somewhere deep down we applaud the dude lost it with some gruel, which drove him to rage. Under the guise of unrestrained guy often hides a weak man who cannot control himself and does not know any other way to convey to others what he wants. To truly be a man, however, means to keep a cool head and to keep calm, whatever happens.

Men, as a rule, cope with anger in two ways. Some produce it out, but it’s dangerous: the more you scream, the more inflamed; in addition, it has a bad effect on you and others. Others suppress anger, and he finds no way out. As a result, these people become bitter cynics.

Why do we need peace?

Anger is a feeling that we need to learn to keep in check. If you learn to control your anger, you can control your emotions. In addition, it will help you to make rational decisions. When you’re angry, you can’t fully think, it is fraught with hasty decisions that you might regret.

Not just anger, however, is unfair. If you learn to manage your anger, you will be able to skillfully use it. Righteous anger, when it is skillfully directed, can help in the fight against small and big injustices. But when you’re dealing with the little things and coincidences, which cannot be avoided, stay calm.

To get out of themselves harmful to health. You may think that anger is just an emotion, but it is just as harmful to your body as for your mind. No matter what the reason you lost your temper: serious (e.g., assault, inappropriate drunks on the street) or trivial (if your mobile operator is faltering) – your nervous system reacts to it the same way:

  • increases the level of cortisol;
  • breathing quickens;
  • the pulse is often;
  • increased blood pressure;
  • you begin to sweat;
  • pupils dilate;
  • can experience headache.

In ancient times this reaction was very useful. The anger of the people resulted in readiness, and he was able to act immediately: to go on the warpath, or do legs. And today the energy of anger just has no channel exit.

Frequent increase of level of hormones of anger» good for your heart. Studies have shown that men with normal blood pressure, but often leave themselves more susceptible to coronary artery disease, and among them, the higher the risk of heart attack. Men who are often irritated, at least three times more likely to suffer from heart attacks. Among young men who react angrily to any stress, even if in their family no one suffered from heart disease, the risk of developing heart disease is higher in three, and the probability of an early heart attack increases five times. In addition, hot-tempered people are more likely to suffer from depression.

Your anger is disturbing loved ones. If you want people to respect you and trust you, learn to cope with his anger. If you explode at the slightest provocation, your colleagues, friends and family will careful in dealing with you. They will always fear that will make you angry, will feel insecure in your presence. The harm of anger to your loved ones is well illustrated by the following story:

A bag full of nails

There once was a boy who was very often angry. One day his father gave him a bag of nails and told to hammer a nail into the fence every time he gets mad. On the first day the boy hammered 37. Every day he hammered in fence less nails, because I realized that it is easier to deal with your anger than to hammer a nail into the fence.

Once the day came when the boy never came out. He proudly told his father, who encouraged him to pull out of the fence around the nail for each day without anger. Days followed days, and one day the boy came to his dad and said that you pulled out of the fence all the nails. Then the father took the boy by the hand and led him to the fence.

«Well done, son. Now look at the hole in the fence. He will never be the same. When you say something in anger, those words leave the same scars in the human soul, to which you refer. You can stick a knife and pull it out, and how much you apologize, the wound will still remain.»

How to master anger and to stay calm

Many psychologists suggest to count up to a hundred and breathe deeply when you are out of control, and only then to respond. I do not think that this a very effective method. If anger took over you, you won’t be able to sit and bend his fingers in anticipation that he’ll let you go. Instead, you should learn how to be in order not to lose his temper. You either need to change your way of thinking, and when something starts to annoy you, respond to it calmly.

Change your view of life. Although many may not realize it, the reason for their anger often lies in the fact that they think life is inherently smooth and quiet. So when everything starts to go wrong, it annoys them because the order allegedly deviates from the norm. Accept the fact that life is often frustrating and generally takes place in the chaos. If everything is fine is just strange. Throw your idyllic fantasy, and it will be easier to cope with harsh reality.

Change my view of myself. Many people think that the root of anger lies fear. Another true statement that the heart of anger – selfishness. The most incendiary people – those who sincerely believes that life should be smooth, and demand from her. For some reason they feel a moral superiority over others and believe that they should always accept, respect and appreciate them and continue to indulge their desire. If not, these people feel hurt and angry. People who often lose their patience and think of the unfairness of life can suffer, except themselves. In order not to lose my temper, for heaven’s sake, get off the pedestal.

Change your view of others. When you were rude to someone, you can always justify to themselves. You’re thinking, «don’t be so harsh with her, but I didn’t get much sleep that really do not think». Or: «I shouldn’t have dumped that guy, but I’m so hurried at this pointless meeting that I didn’t have time for him». And when others go with us as well, we are full of anger, and we do not think that they could have their reasons. People make mistakes – exactly the same as you are. Just be lenient with him – you can be indulgent to yourself. They have nothing against you. They simply have a tough day or bad manners. Don’t take it personally.

Disarm your anger logic

Anger, even if it’s justified, often extremely irrational. Therefore, the best antidote to anger – logic. You must first learn to analyze the situation, and then appropriately respond to it.

Realize why you’re mad. Anger often blinds us so much that we forget what actually caused it. We often turn on the most obvious cause for anger, while the real root of the problem may lie much deeper. You have to learn to make sense of their anger and understand what it is called. If you think about what, in fact, the case, you can resolve this reason. Partially we get angry because don’t understand why we’re actually angry. Imagine: when a plane is delayed, people will be more angry if they are not talking about the reasons for this delay. Understanding the causes of your anger will help to overcome it.

Or able to admit that the reason for your anger is yourself. Are you angry at tube because you left home 10 minutes later than usual. Are you angry that his wife complains about a broken dryer, because you still didn’t fix it.

Learn to ask yourself if you’ll be able to change the situation. If you can influence the situation or the person for whom you are out of control, there’s no reason to be angry. Go to thoughts on how to rectify the situation. If you are powerless to do something with annoying people or things, you have, again, no reason to be angry. There is nothing you can do about it, so there is no point in even thinking about it. Men are so constituted that they need to solve the problem: we want to find a way out of any situation. But to be a man, however mean and learn to accept that sometimes you’re powerless to do something.

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