A treatise on delicious and mentally unhealthy food
Let’s say you love to cook. But all the recipes have long been stuffed on edge. And the question is, what to do? Refer to the creatures rarely eat normal people.
How to gut a dragon
Draconain – a thing expensive. The meat is tough, but very, very useful. One lizard to feed a dozen hungry mouths, and cured the dragon will be the perfect beer snack and pamper even the most discerning gourmet. Some offer to feed young individual untouched for 8-10 months, but not at all impossible to catch a dragon. Then you need to make the most difficult: to find and kill him. Well, there are many options. Most importantly, make a magic herb or skomu to the dragon arrived. Oh, and then the most important – removing the peel. But first, in the old tradition Makarevich from the early «Relish», drink plastic bottles «Honey of Honning», so that the process becomes more fun. And then we find on the unprotected abdomen with scales area, and the first incision is from the belly to the head. Be careful, the scales can be very tough, so you’ll have to change a few discs. Remove the scales and see what we’ve got: mountain hard bony meat. So cut the animal in the literal and figurative sense, the wings and tail end. Don’t throw away come in handy for making soup.
Dismantle the carcass of the sword «the dragon Slayer» or other quality knives, preferably from Valeriscle become, as they are easier to separate the meat from the tendons. Gently vparivaet belly and get the body to extract the heat. It is better to wear gloves and safety goggles, as the bladder can tear and burn the eyebrows. Cut out the dragon’s heart, liver and the navel. The navel can be used for soup, the liver is like a sickly profit, that will give bonuses to alcoholics and to protect their livers from the hangover and greasy food – a stew with vegetables, sauce. But the heart of the ancient shamans are advised to eat raw. They say that if you can find dragon force. However, in our time, when the environment has deteriorated, to eat meat dragon without heat treatment very foolish. Besides, the mighty heart muscle may not meet your fancy foodie, so put it in a saucepan and keep on heat for hours. It is desirable to add salt, pepper and Bay leaf for flavor.
What we have: a mountain of meat, massive leg, thighs, neck and so on. As we have said, meat is better not to fry in the pan. If you have already decided, you should carefully-marinated lizard. They say that the meat on a soda and mayonnaise takes on an unheard of tenderness. So everything is standard: RUB with salt, pepper, add the seasoning for shashlik, onions and pieces of lemon. Put the mixture in the fridge for a day, that the meat be marinated. It is desirable cut into small pieces, so it will be much easier to fry, and the meat will lose its juiciness. Recommended for use with different sauces and meat to the dragon perfect wine Tamika or «Brothers Surely». Delicious, nourishing, and exciting.
It is worth noting that the meat of the dragon diet and almost no fat. So, for anybody watching them, recommend.
If you have a lot of meat, do not rush to share them with the neighbors. Myself eat. Slice them into thin slices, sasoli or savali, put in cold and voila! A great beer snack ready.
We all remember that pointless thing out of Tamriel that attack on the sly and was making some strange sounds. However, if you want to surprise your guests simple and unusual dish that prescrib something that suits you. All you need to do is pick up a bow or cast a fireball, walk up to the pond, where they are found, to lure him with a sweet roll and kill. Just one or two attacks/shots.
We bring home, and as the animal is found in dirt, place it on a hour in cold water. Clean the shell with a brush, put in boiling salted water, followed by the dill and cook for 15-20 minutes on low heat. After take out, open the shell, pour the lemon juice, get muscular claws and serve with vegetables. Bon appetit!
As for the headcrab. Most importantly, choose a normal headcrab, which is non-toxic and prefers clean water. For this you need to wear a helmet, put hedgebrook, and then to bring the bastard home. The back legs cut off and put in salted water for 15-20 minutes. Now it is not dangerous. Get a crowbar and break a crab’s front legs, now he was. Up to this point, dump all the crabs in a large pot and cook them in strong brine until until red. Already ready the legs that can make the same dishes and with the usual grazebrook.
Ready crabs drink a beer, blazer and other beverages. Don’t forget to raise the shell (this will need a pry-bar) under it tasty accumulated fat.
This dish is perfect to decorate agonizing wait for the release of «Half Life 3» and other mental illness.
If you decide to visit Chernobyl, you probably thought about what kind of food safely. Some sort of vodka and can not eat bread. Therefore, we recommend a proven recipe. As they say in the Wastelands «if you want to survive – eat your own kind».
Go to the Area, fasten this thing and cut off the head. In addition to the chair to eat anything. You’re not a cannibal!
So back to head to the camp and see what we have: ugly face with tentacles. Carefully remove the tentacles. Large individuals of red meat, from it will emerge a lot of blood. But don’t worry, this is normal. Finely chop, put in a pan, pour the wine (because wine is brings strontium), add the tomato and a little olive oil. Simmer for a long time on a slow fire, to the elastic tentacles have become edible. You can add rice, but it will be a very different dish.
If you want to impress a lady, make a salad. To do this, the tentacles need to be boiled for hours in salt water. In a bowl mix the garlic, squeezed through a press, lemon juice, mustard, oil, salt and pepper to taste. All beat well with a fork.
Warm bloodsucker tentacles to put in a bowl and pour the cooked dressing. Mix well and leave to stand for a few minutes. Tomatoes, cucumbers and onions to cut, put in a bowl with the bloodsuckers, add to the salad black olives. Mix well. Decorate with greens, and drink vodka, because the meat radioactive.
Roughly the same can be done with Cthulhu, though, Cthulhu will do something with you.
And now to cooking game. After all, remember the scavenger from the game series «Gothic»? Now, you probably know that the dangerous bird with massive beak, sharp claws, weak texture. There are many ways to destroy the scavenger: istituti arrows, cut off the head (though headless carcass will convulse and may hurt you). So trust the bird hunters higher level, and themselves used for cooking.
Plus the scavenger that he aspery. So you don’t have to spend time plucking game.
So, get rid of the head. Take the clippers (simple shears won’t cut it), cut the massive legs. Disclose the accident, pull out the giblets, but don’t throw away. The heart, the navel and the liver is put in the refrigerator for future use. Skinned carcass is better to put in water as a scavenger bird smelly. RUB on all sides with a mixture of olive oil and various herbs, pre-purchased from a dealer (50 gold), stuffed with apples and meat bugs and put in Hellfire for 30 minutes at a temperature of 200 degrees. Serve boiled rice and claws lurker. Call friends, getting high marsh herbs – enjoy!
Egg scavenger makes a great omelet. Take milk crookrise, stir egg until smooth. Put in a pan where previously razzharennoy meat the beetles, wait to harden, and throw it in the trash. Because it is impossible.
The dish is perfect for those who miss held in the computer childhood.
Inner mouth alien
Favorite dish drunk astronauts and mad scientists.
Name is Riley and please, deal with the bad alien. Give Ripley the rest of the beast, to revenge for a fallen team, and are cut the most delicious part – the inner mouth. If Ripley didn’t come, called the Predator, he will not fail. Inner mouth, like false accounting, he lives a life of its own. Therefore, if there is to snap, osvistali malevolent on boot.
Boil it in boiling water for forty minutes. Get pulling teeth. Give the dish to cool. Pour vinegar, decorate with an elegant sprig of parsley. Served to the table. Perfect as an appetizer to vodka from a tube and others signaltools drinks.