A bummer: it happens to everyone
Failures in life fully, but most of them accept quite simple — just remember that the world doesn’t revolve around you, and the planet is a speck in the chaos of the infinite cosmos. When you think about it, all resentment gone. But, sometimes, you shit like this happens, it seems that it is meant for you. No one else — only for your moral destruction. You slam her hand on the forehead and ask the emptiness: «How is that even possible!? Well I’m a loser, what a moron!». Don’t despair, my friend. It’s not so bad, because even the most obamite breakup happen not only with you but with everyone, even us.
1. The most ridiculous joke on the planet
It’s terrible when you give stupid joke while drunk at some party. About your stupidity will be forgotten, it will be able to explain. But, hell, it’s not the worst thing that can happen to you in the company of friends or enemies. Imagine that you were preparing in your mind a stunning satire, which has reference to the present, a movie or the life of the newlyweds, which you came to the party. And so you’re given the words, and you laughing from pleasure, start telling the funniest joke in the world. But the more you tell, the more you realize that people look at you like a jerk. And now the story has come to an end, your back covered in sweat a long time, and people not laughing. It takes a few seconds of silence, someone coughs, someone whispering, but no one, no one at all not even a smile. Of course, there is the dude who slapped, and smile to give you the opportunity to leave the center of attention. You sit at the table until the end of the holiday, never open your mouth, sadly pondering his sense of humor.
2. Pimple or cold sore before a date
Imagine that you’re attractive from the point of view of friends, man. All you have to face, there are some and other muscles. And now you have a date nor a time with a maid from the night club that will make anything if you buy her cocktails (such is not yet extinct, trust me), and with the true love — a woman who stabbed your heart by its very existence. And you dream to meet her, invited her on a date, booked a table and did everything like a man. And now you Wake up in the day a long-awaited meeting with a girl (in my mind you already think is his), go to shave and find such a huge pimple on my forehead, cheeks and maybe the nose. They are big and nasty, like on your head grows three more. And they all pulsate, sick — and strive to give their content to everyone who will sit across from you.
Worse can only be cold sores on the lips that does not go away after a couple of days, like a pimple, whatever the means you used.
3. No condoms when you’re really needed
Now, remember your years full of lame line. It is possible that they are in full swing, and if you have not yet embarked on the path of sexual inclination, we are sure, will soon begin to carry a pack of condoms wherever you go, wherever you’re invited, even if it’s the funeral of the grandmother of a classmate (what are you doing?). No, you’re not Horny, you’re just growing up. But, you know, what we have noticed in the years of his youth? Condoms are always on hand when you do not Shine, their never there when you do get the chance. If scientists studied this problem, they would call it prezervativnaya paradox.
4. The fall in the moment of absolute certainty
We all slip, fall, and feel awkward. And to hell with him. But there are times when the usual loss of balance turns into a tent-show that consists of inflow of redness on your face. For example, when you fall not just in the eyes of the public, and in the sight of the cute girl did not dare to speak. Every day I see her at the bus stop and crumple like a jerk. And here and plowed nose right at her feet…
5. First conversation with a girl
If you think that only in the movies guys are stupid when trying to talk to a girl at the bar, you’re wrong. You too will be blunt — your whole training (regular rehearsal in front of the mirror) go to the bottom, you’re going to mumble like a child and bleat like sheep. But before you thought know what to say to a beautiful lady, and then all went on their own, without your participation. The girl, of course, will look at you like a degenerate. You’ll pay for her drink, apologize and will leave the institution as soon as possible to relax in a warm and cozy tub. In fact, such a scenario is not happening with everyone, but I think like you saw with your own eyes.
6. Flirting with a girl who was really a guy
And here is another unpleasant situation that is a hundred times worse than the previous one. Again, we take our girl at the bar, you get to meet and the conversation sort of goes as it should, but she suddenly gives: «It’s all well and good, but he’s my boyfriend.» You look back and realize that there’s no boyfriend, I laugh and think that everything is a game to test your perseverance to the test. Continue to flirt with a girl, smile every moment wider and wider. I think that’s a good sign and «someone having sex tonight». And then he comes, the same «imaginary» guy. What’s next? Depends on your skill in diplomacy and his tendency to negotiate. Suffice it to say that broken teeth brushes regularly in nightlife the morning — maybe someday wipers swept out to scoop yours.
7. Clever, clever, but I was wrong
There is a category of people, a very unpleasant I must say that sticks out your intellect on display. In the mass they are able to enter society astray. They play with terms variety of highly specialized formulations. But we not about them. Each of us sometimes found themselves the center of attention, talking about some newfangled technology thing, explaining why it’s so great, why is it a big leap in the future — all ooh and Aah from your awareness in the news of Cybernetics, but soon the company is a person who pokes his nose into irrefutable evidence of your wrong (usually with the help of Google). And you’re not a nerd, and just YAP.