5 ways to get a girl to dump you

Work.com.ua_11.03.2015_G1kVECQzRKkICWant to quit your friend, but don’t know how to approach this issue is to do minimal losses? So why not get her to break up with you?! We present to you five disgusting but effective ways that will free your living space and personal space from annoying passions.

1. Become a guy nuts

No, we are not talking about those sweet whim that she might have paid attention to you. We’re talking about large-scale passive-aggressive behavior, which is a great tool for scaring away unwanted women.

The first step on the road to madness is paranoia. Constantly show your distrust of the girl, to his friends and to society as a whole. She didn’t call you, even though you promised? This is an obvious sign that you are cheating! The courier will deliver the order on time? Perhaps it was intercepted by the officers of the GRU, gutted box, put in your new iPod recording device that the government could spy on you in the shower! Don’t limit your flight of fancy.

The next stage is jealousy. You already acted like a paranoid, so this should be a natural progression. Every male with whom she has the audacity to communicate, – its actual or potential lover. Snatch out her phone, answer her calls, ask for the passwords of all accounts in social networks and from all mailboxes.

Ready? Now is the time to consolidate the effect achieved with the help of irrational displays of emotion. Weep, if it is too much time on the phone with my mom. Get angry at her when she wants to give you a massage and feed a delicious dinner. Admire the beauty of eaten a Burger or fries. When will require of you an explanation for this behavior, do focus on endocrine disorders, pituitary tumor or something else.

2. All the time keep it open your browser

Ideally, you have to constantly use her laptop, do not clean the history and to leave open the page in a series of «How to suppress internal Feb a serial killer». And you can write a letter to a psychologist, which begins with the words: «I don’t feel anything except the burning thirst for blood.» Fill out similar queries your computer, be it PC, smartphone and tablet. Pay it a certain time every day and be patient. But if you have no time to wait, then leave this page open. The effect will not keep itself waiting long.

3. Become the pathetic bitch of all who have ever lived

The temperature of this chicken is definitely a half a degree colder than you are normally accustomed to. And this is called the tavern restaurant?! (Hysterical.) Course restorative yoga started three minutes late? (Hysterical seizures and the requirement to dismiss the instructor.) What is that smoke in your Cup? After all, you ordered the coffee, ground by the teeth of African children and cooked over an open fire lit from pages of Dostoevsky’s novels! (Having a conniption fit with a suspected epileptic seizure). Remember: all the things you are supposed to be palatial, it is necessary to place strictly on Feng Shui, and in your vocabulary should be a lot of mysterious words, which a normal person has no idea.

4. The sudden change of orientation

She can’t not break if you tell her you love her, but your genitals have the opposite opinion. Pretty cruel statement, but it’s the perfect excuse for such a lazy asshole like you. You will take all the hit, without the «I think we should see other people». And if the girl will believe you, you can always blame the situation some «confusion with the choice of sexual preference». Tell him you need time alone to explore their own contradictory desires, or that in the past you had a similar experience, and apparently not to escape from himself in any way.

Worst case scenario: she’ll take you just the way you are, and she wants to experiment having sex with two men. In this case you will have to open the rolls or to admit to the deception. Don’t worry, we got you another option.

5. Turn to the study of the family tree and make a surprising discovery

A computer with photoshop? Well, then you’re ready for a new desperate step! Spend your time creating high-quality layout of a family tree, where the search results give you two bound by blood. You, of course, a big fan of «Game of Thrones», but not to the same degree! Any objections confidently declare: «People around the world have children born out of wedlock! And you’re telling me that it is impossible that this bearded Arab was your father really?!» The wall of your iron logic, built on irrefutable evidence can not be destroyed. It’s time to pack.

Of course, it would be much faster just to walk up to her and say, «you Know, I want to break up with you, you have a strange figure, and I don’t find you attractive,» but that’s just rude.