5 steps to understanding other people
The world has become a stale piece of moldy bread. When was the last time you were greeted by a friendly Concierge or the seller? Look at those around you on public transport — their faces, throw away the anger that they spoil the air. Perhaps the ozone layer is so thin that’s why. Look in the mirror — your face is no different. Where is the self? Why are people so estranged from each other? Maybe we just forgot how to understand each other? We speak the same language, but cannot hear anything, don’t want to hear. The problem in communicating is not only your problem, but also the whole society. But you have the opportunity to build relationships with anyone, even the most implacable enemy.
1 Interpretation — your nerve the First step to understanding is the interpretation of the interlocutor. If you’re misinterpreting the sentence of man, that he appears before you in a distorted light. The problem of interpretation that the same words do not mean the same meaning. You need to know the person well to be sure that he had in mind.
The fact that communication is not only words and their relationship. It is not only speech. It is also an emotional component, understanding allusions, jokes, seriousness and the frivolity of what is happening. Therefore, it is important to not just understanding sentences, understanding the main message that I wanted to tell you people. Sometimes it can differ dramatically from words that were spoken aloud. You know, some things you can say without words — at a single glance or movement.
2 don’t be afraid to sound silly — ask to explain in a nutshell
But if you meet a talkative guy or a girl, in the flow of information can be lost. In your mind is anarchy, which does not want to buy the form. You can’t understand. You say a ton of words, but you’re ignorant. This is the problem with your companion — he cannot prevent verbal eruption to highlight the point. But it’s never too late to encourage him to do so. Just stop the conversation and ask a couple of clarifying questions that will help you to understand everything. Don’t be afraid to sound silly, much sillier knowingly nod, and then fall into a stupor from the fact that you do not understand and know nothing. 3 Put yourself in the place of the interlocutor Is a great exercise. If you start a conversation with someone, but you begin to realize that the source you wildly annoying your conclusions, then chill there’s no time to slow it down. Try to put yourself in his place. Look at the problem, consider the motivation of the opponent, try to understand it. To understand the person — it does not mean to agree with him. You just have to understand that life experience, the specific situation, even one single idea can dramatically change your Outlook on life, and hence understanding of the problem. For example, if you put in the same room as the follower of a planned economy and a follower of the Austrian school of Economics, will end the fight, though both people want to solve one problem is economic. But the experience and knowledge of different people.
4 Talk with the person in the language of man , We often do not know how to speak his language. Begin to talk with them as friends or work colleagues. But each person requires an individual approach, otherwise it can turn into a fight. If you are a participant in small talk, then eliminate from your vocabulary and professional jargon. Obscene language use it. Sometimes even in a circle of professors of literature obscene word sounds appropriate, and among the homeboys — awful. You need to recognize these moments of relevance, not to engage in shit rejection. It is difficult, but the more you talk, the less questions arise: «is it appropriate?».
5 Less emotion, more action
People without emotion is empty and soulless box. But they do not always benefit, especially if we talk about interpersonal relationships. Very often anger, sadness and even joy can lead to emotions will cover the rational component of the conversation. This usually occurs in couples of all ages. Start talking about where to go on Friday evening, and ends with the smashing of crockery and memories about what you thing and how you had former. Like that experienced on their skin every second man and every second woman.
If you see that a conflict is brewing, remember that even a single conflict with a girl does not lead to something good for you. Try to smooth the corners and turn the conversation in the direction of reason, common sense and rationality. If you succeed, you can finally exhale in relief and feel good about myself — a person who is not alien to diplomacy.