5 questions that you can not put the bearded


Not easy to live the bearded man. Because growing hair is more than 4 mm, you’re opening a hell portal, and awaken the ancient power, crazy great. Her name – stupid questions. On land, on water, in a bar, at work, on the street and even in bed – you can hear them everywhere. Them crazy his boyars Peter the great, them, American intelligence services are brought to delusions of persecution Hemingway, there was a major war. That fee for such a courageous way. Never, never, never, never ask their beards.

1. «Dude, how much did you grow?»

This is one of the most popular questions from the owners of facial hair and one of the most difficult. It’s always difficult to give a specific answer. Say: «the Day I stopped shaving,» is right. Because of the beard – not canned, not the children and cheese, they have no production time.

2. «Can I touch it?»

What else to let you touch it? Ass touch yourself! How would you feel if everyone came up and touched your hair on the head or tickled his face? Wanted to please the bearded man? Touch his groin! Touch other people generally not kosher and improper. A bearded it is not the people? To touch the beard was only for the sake of this video, but it has been removed, so that the subject is closed. Don’t try to repeat it for the sake of his health, and then suddenly the next BorsodChem will be the champion of Europe on fights without rules, which you, to put it mildly, do not understand?

3. «You have food stuck in your beard?»

Useful skill, of course, especially when all day on the run and to eat normally could not, but bearded men don’t like to talk about it. Probably because it’s idiotic. Of course, they pushed in their facial a loaf of bread, crumble it, throw crumbs over the entire surface and meet the new day and challenges! After all, beards and otesyvajutsja in order not to die of hunger and collect food. And the greedy or hungrier you are, the longer it is, forgive us Old Hottabych and Anatoly Wasserman. Reveal a terrible secret: all their false beards. From all false beards, in order to gather food. Worldwide conspiracy hungry beard.

4. Looking at any ID with photo: «Is that really you?»

Reception airport, car rental, Bank – full of places where the bearded man could hear this gorgeous, full of depth and wisdom question. Of course not, I just found in the journal «Land, family, crops» for the 23rd article of dispossession, cut out pictures and pasted in the passport, now flaunt. Or conversely, when clean-shaven image on the photograph does not match the neat vegetation. You just decided not to shave for a couple of days now and overgrown. A passport is expensive found. Of course it is.

By the way, at customs, so better not to joke. There is generally tight with humor.

5. «And you’re stupidly lazy to shave, huh?»


This question is perhaps the most irreverent and offensive. The fact is that when it is not about the priest and not on the worker-peasant beards, the process of grooming a beard is not an easy. On the contrary, is very long and complicated thing, if you don’t cosplays the image of Hagrid. Regular equation, styling wax and other maintenance requires a large amount of time and attention to detail. You don’t work externally as a neat beards.