40 rules by which to live
We are destroying unsystematic. The system should be all — otherwise how to live without beliefs and a clear understanding of what you perceive and what not to tolerate? Life is full of force majeure, unforeseen situations, unexpected twists, deceit, failures, intrigues, misunderstandings and other mistakes. How to get good out of all difficulties? Of course, to set rules and play with him. It’s not too difficult. Here’s our frivolous rules, not devoid, however, reasonable grain.
1. With age women become more affordable and smarter.
2. A prank is always funny.
3. You can afford better beer. Right now. Put on the shelf this stuff.
4. When it is necessary to paint business expenses, each one turns into a potential client, and each bar — business meeting.
5. If you drink with anyone, he’ll like you much more.
6. Women are easy to impress, opening the bottle with anything except a dedicated bottle opener.
7. One bottle of whiskey more wisdom than all the books in the world.
8. Making resolutions for the New year — a funny idea, and every year it just gets funnier. You have less time to do more things.
9. When you feel takes your time, look at the movies that loved as a child. You’ll find a lot.
10. All women who can not bear children, will inevitably give birth to children. It’s the circle of corrupt women in nature is a wonderful phenomenon.
11. The value of the bar is proportional to the depth of the soul of his master.
12. Do you, after doing what helps you pay the bills.
13. Everything can be negotiated.
14. Nice to have nice things. When you get older, you start to afford more.
15. The only rule regarding debt is to get out of debt. Debt is a form of slavery.
16. Drugs difficult to find, difficult to maintain, it’s hard not to go with them — for what to try?
17. Freshmen are children.
18. Don’t get a dog. It will take a crap on the floor, while you’re at work, and will not give you a pass when you get back home. Don’t get a cat. Cat will to manipulate you and force you to remove your tray. Buy a huge fish tank, because it is spectacular.
19. If you’re confident in your girlfriend most difficult in marriage is to decide whom you will invite to the wedding. Wedding are expensive, but your friends are idiots.
20. Any thing come from legacy of the nineties, with the eighties is doubly obsolete. Don’t fight it. Humble yourself and remember: the nineties — the best time in history.
21. Always finish your drink before the end. And tea, beer and any drinks. Wounded carried from the field.
22. Look at his companion. If you’re not going to look at him, he’ll think you’re hiding something unpleasant.
23. Every day wear, which would die. One day you will die — you want to look like a dead hobo?
24. People subconsciously judge you on looks — that’s why you have to train every day, even if only for 20 minutes. Exercise makes us happier, besides, it’s the only way to get killer abs.
25. No cocktails out of a million components. Only pure alcohol.
26. Never wear a tie pin. Every time someone hitches at the tie pin in the world is fat beauty.
27. Always nalivaika on girls that you think you can’t handle. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.
28. Only a firm handshake. The guy must be a hand, not a dead fish.
29. Always agree on a solution that will provide you another interesting story, even if you tell her on the phone from prison.
30. Dividends better than interest.
31. If you know how to do something, never do it for free. Unless I’m using beautiful… in exchange for dividends, of course.
32. You could keep the volume of water required a small African village if you stopped to juggle in the shower. Have conscience.
33. The hangover is a punishment for the sins that you committed last night.
34. Keep old friends close to him, and alcoholics are even closer.
35. In oral sex is the only way, as you sow, so shall you reap.
36. Do not delete your old stupid email. How else will you recover passwords from thousands of accounts?
37. Constantly buy new skills outside the field of its activities. Interesting people will take a job more likely than losers. Who would you hired — geek with an average score of 4.8 or a guy who knows how to train tigers, fly the helicopter and throw Darts? Your resume should distinguish you from others.
38. Read the book. Society reads few books, and it involves us deeply in the abyss of the unknown and doomed to an endless stay in a semi-conscious state.
39. If your boss drinks, from time to time invite him to the bar. If your boss drinks, ignore everything he says, what he believes in.
40. Want to have kids — imagine how much money you have to invest in their upbringing and education. You want more money? Then you really are not ready to have a baby.