10 mistakes in communicating with a friend, when living with her in the same house
Difficult times come, not only in terms of money but also in terms of relationships with a friend. Just a couple of months ago, you soul in it is not heard, and now it seems like the pain in the ass — constantly grumbling, dissatisfied and goes into hysterics at every occasion. You’re too good — yelling at her when I can’t hold back the boiling point. The two of you share only a bed and General living space, but they are not eternal — you’re a metre to drop everything and put the blame somewhere beyond the horizon. But all is not lost — you can restore what you and your friend have ruined it. For this we need to understand that the root cause lies in the inability to talk to each other.
1 You’re not listening to her
Sure she often tells you, and you shrug, thinking, «here we go Again from all the cracks». Actually, if you don’t take friend seriously, then it will continue to drip on brains that you don’t listen to her and not even going to start doing it. Understand that you may be bored to find out from her the news of life, when it really doesn’t change, and every day you say the same thing: it was with friends was that in the store more. But be sure the girl understands that anything interesting you said — she just wants involvement with your life, because she shares your bed, and hence life itself.
2 You say without thinking Never jump to conclusions — it threatens to big problems: be without sex and even flabby arms. So, girl can you be annoying in the moment, and you want to put her in her place, but don’t rush it. Your first reaction, as a rule, has no rational ground, and that’s why you can say such stupid things that you would never hear about it for the next twenty years.
3 You talk about what you want to discuss
Don’t get us wrong. If you share with a friend your worries and anxieties and problems, there is nothing wrong. On the other hand, if you overload it with negative information, or information which relates solely to your person, then it is likely to quickly get bored. Who wants to hear every day about the issues that arise for you at work? Try often to talk to a girl about what she herself would be interesting to discuss. 4 You are raising your voice to her Friends like strong and confident men, but you don’t is such, if lifted the girl’s voice. If you’re mad as hell, then go outside for a smoke, wait in the cold or even a ladder to skip a glass of beer. Calm your nerves and come home to calmly explain their position. When you yell at the girl, nothing but resentment, she did not feel.
5 Control facial expressions
Have learned the hard way. Facial expressions and any other nonverbal communication is a very important part of life together, especially when it lasts for many years. First, you don’t even notice the man special gestures, but every year gives you a new reason to find them something that will annoy you. Back it also works. That is why there are situations where you can not understand what offended friend, and she is offended. Maybe if you said the same thing, but with a different facial expression, all could do. Facial expressions and gestures is a complex science, so better read about them.
6 superlative degree That annoys us the most and I think girls of the same opinion. The point is that in dealing with any person you should avoid such statements as «you always» «you never» and «every time». Know why this should be avoided? Because it’s not true. These words are big hit to the ego person — you are literally telling him that he is hopeless. If a friend has a problem with alcohol, for example, the phrase «every day you drink a beer when this is over!» sounds much worse than the phrase «you’ve been drinking, this must have something to do.» Just use your head and don’t try to RUB the human face in the dirt, especially words that are not created in order to solve conflicts.
7 do You humiliate a girl
It looks especially awful when you’re doing this for fun, for revenge. All this talk about her background, work and mental abilities, leave them in your school. Before you an adult who deserves to be treated seriously. Anything constantly remember its shortcomings, because you have enough of them. Besides, women are far more vulnerable than you. 8 You play in charges If you entered into a verbal battle with a friend, then don’t try to get out of it a winner — no one wins this battle, but each will receive a wound, which in the long term can cause leaving you friend. Every argument, even if wrong only friend, blame both of you. Why? Because are unable to agree among themselves. Try to be domestic squabbles, rise above and be able to negotiate.
9 Want to be understood, but do not want to understand
Offended you, good. Rather bad, but you will pass this test. On the other hand, you want your grief understood and apologized. The girl must understand what you’re feeling, and why she was wrong. But hold your horses. Even if you think you deserve understanding, first try to understand it, even if things get hard and nasty. It is not idiotic point of view — she just sees the situation from a different angle. If you understand a friend, you will be able to find the words that will convince her you were wrong.
10 do You recall her past Perhaps, the girl you owe. You snatched from the clutches of his family, clothed and shod, provided jobs and gave the car. It is possible that before she cheated. Or maybe she did something that will remain in your memory for a lifetime. For example, have an abortion without your consent. Now take all that and try to forget all those memories you don’t need it if you want to save the relationship. Do not remember the dark past, live the present better.
According to the materials of Jackie Bledsoe